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What the Josh Duggar Molestation Revelations Reveal About How to Properly Report Sexual Abuse

What the Josh Duggar Molestation Revelations Reveal About How to Properly Report Sexual Abuse

Last updated on: May 25, 2015 at 8:57 am by Stacy Lynn Harp

What the Josh Duggar Molestation Revelations Reveal About How to Properly Report Sexual Abuse 2015-05-25T08:57:29-06:00 Stacy Lynn Harp

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the Duggar family and how they handled the news that their eldest son, Josh Duggar, chose to molest five underage girls when he was just 14 years old. I’ve seen Christians come to his defense and call his crime a “mistake” and I’ve seen intense outrage from more non-Christians than I have the Christian world.

As I’ve sat back and tried to analyze my own feelings about this and have read multiple accounts about what happened, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are a few things that seriously need to be addressed.

First, this isn’t an issue about whether or not God forgives Josh Duggar for his crimes. Josh confessed his crimes and so God is faithful to His word and has forgiven him. What this whole saga tells me is that there is some serious problems with how the church, and in particular, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, chose to deal with their sons crimes. (Note, I’m using the word crimes instead of sin, because child molestation is a crime and the police report labeled what he did as a felony.)

Here’s what I am speculating happened and I’m going to assume was the motivation for the improper way the Duggars handled Josh’s crimes.

Obviously everyone knows that a 14 year old knows right from wrong and most normal people would admit that a 14 year old molesting sleeping sisters and a friend of the family is wrong. If it was one incident, I may be able to understand, although not agree with, the way the Duggars handled it. However, we know it was at least five times Josh committed this crime. Five, not one, at least five. He had motive, he had reasons and he had opportunity and he did it.

Somehow, whether Josh came to his senses or one of the girls told on him, his crimes were discovered. And I’m speculating that Jim Bob wanted to do everything he could to make sure it didn’t happen again. I’m speculating remember, because I don’t know. So, it appears that instead of bringing Josh to the police and filing charges against his son, he decided instead to handle it differently. I believe how he handled it, is why there is so much outrage against this family right now. How Jim Bob handled it is why I have been feeling angry and violated.

Let me explain. When a person, especially a child within a family is sexually violated that child no longer feels safe. That child lives in fear and that child grows anxious and afraid. When a parent chooses to protect the perpetrator and diminishes the effect of the perpetrators crimes against them, then regardless of whether or not the abuse has stopped, that child doesn’t feel safe and lives with a sense of insecurity because the father didn’t bother to fully protect them.

Jim Bob chose to send Josh away from the place of his crimes. Jim Bob chose to make sure that there were no charges pressed against Josh for his crimes. I’m guessing the parents of the child that was not a family member were persuaded that if Josh was dealt with and promised their child would never be abused again, then they somehow agreed to not press charges. Whatever the case was, we all know that charges were not brought against Josh and so he never legally has had to pay for his crimes.

So we see a father protecting his oldest son from having to pay legally for his crimes. How do you think the five victims of these crimes feel about that?

That is the issue at hand. It may be argued that the little girls weren’t really all that damaged or abused. After all it was “only fondling and petting” and to our knowledge no penetration of any form took place. And to those of you who think that way, I’d say that you have no understanding of how horrific it is to have been “only fondled and petted”. When an older person violates the physical boundaries of your body in any form that is not healthy behavior, it is a crime. When those crimes are not dealt with properly you are advocating for the legal abuse of a person and there becomes almost no outrage over it. The sad thing about this is that I’ve seen little outrage from the Christian leaders in this country about it. Instead, Mike Huckabee, a former pastor, decides to stand shoulder to shoulder with the perpetrator and support him, which makes me wonder how many victims of sexual abuse were never helped if they dared to go to him when he as a pastor.

The proper and more difficult thing that should’ve been done by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar is that they should have pressed charges against their son and allowed the system to determine the outcome. Since Josh was a minor at the time of his crimes, I have no doubt he would’ve been given a lesser sentence for his crimes and actually got proper counseling.

As for the victims of these heinous crimes, they would’ve not only then been properly validated, but they would’ve been taught that the actions of their brother or anyone else is actually a CRIME. This would strengthen them to know that when someone else is trying to violate their boundaries that they need to tell someone as soon as possible.

Given the ages of the victims, which we all know was under 14 years of age, the Duggars apparently didn’t do their job well enough to teach these girls about proper boundaries and good versus bad touching.

Given the sadistic and cowardly way Josh chose to commit his crimes, literally under the dark of night when most of his victims were sleeping, I can’t even begin to imagine the damage these little victims feel now when they try to sleep. Talk about a way to make sure a victim feels unsafe. To not only be sexually violated but to have it happen when you’re at the most vulnerable. I’m sorry but Josh Duggar is a mentally sick individual and there is something wrong with him.

What sickens me even more is that his parents, protected him instead of making him pay for his crimes. That is the shame of their family and that is the shame of their representation of Christ.

Let me remind you that in three of the four gospels, the words of Jesus are recorded that tell us how serious He feels about crimes committed against children. Here they are:

Mark 9:42 And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.

Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Luke 17:2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

The irony and hypocrisy as I see it is that the Duggars have made a name for themselves by declaring their Christianity and values on a TV program that shows how many CHILDREN they have. Yet, you have the parents complicit in making sure that there is NO JUSTICE for the victims of crime from one of their very own children!

And for now, Josh Duggar hasn’t had to pay for his crimes. And if he isn’t truly repentant, I can only hope and pray that his next victims come forward. The question is whether it will be his own daughter.

My hope is that Jim Bob and Michelle learn from their mistakes and may this be a wake up call to the Church and those outside of the church, to protect the victims of crime, even if it means doing the hard thing and watching your child pay for His crime.

The God and Father of scripture and of the Lord Jesus Christ, allowed His only begotten Son, to pay for the sins of humanity on a cross. THAT was the ultimate in watching a Son pay for crimes of others. The amazing thing about this grace that was shown through this act is that Jesus was innocent and sinless and never committed any crime and yet His Father went through with the severe punishment so that ALL OF OUR SINS and CRIMES could be forgiven. Josh Duggar may be forgiven of his crimes, however Josh Duggar never paid for his crimes. That is the problem with not reporting sexual abuse properly.

My hope and prayer is that those mistakes will teach the world that any form of sexual abuse is a crime and needs to ALWAYS be reported properly and charges ALWAYS need to be pressed against the perpetrator so the victims can have true healing.

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May 22, 2015

Judgment Has Begun on the House of God, Learn from the Duggars

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May 27, 2015 If Forgiving Josh Duggar for Molesting His Victims Is All It Takes Then Mike Huckabee, Evangelism Explosion, Ray Comfort & Todd Friel Should Hire Him to Be the Face of Their Ministries

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