Mothering My Father: God’s Surprise Package

Last updated on: May 6, 2015 at 4:30 pm by Stacy Lynn Harp

Mothering My Father: God’s Surprise Package 2015-05-06T16:30:24-06:00 Stacy Lynn Harp

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A few months ago life threw me one of the biggest surprises of my life. My father, who has been married four times, recently lost his fourth wife and was left a widower. His first two wives divorced him and the last two he was collectively married to for almost 36 years. I am the only daughter and his oldest child and even though he has never played a huge part in my life (mainly because his wives have kept us children away and he let them) I have always wanted a relationship with my father. My mother left him when I was seven and now I’m almost forty seven. So, here it is, forty years later and I am finally getting to know my father…at least part of him.

My father is also almost 87 years old, he has Parkinson’s and he’s in the early stages of dementia. Yet, on the outside, he’s still ambulatory and can do most things, as long as he’s reminded. As a matter of fact, he fixed a bathroom door in my house yesterday and today he’s been outside pruning my tree.

On the other hand, the other night I showed him a teddy bear of mine and he took it and started to stroke it and talk to it, just as a little child would. I’ve had to show him how to make his coffee, remind him to take his shower, and tell him to stay off of the roof. In fact, he actually climbed up on the roof and my husband and I almost died! When I told my dad that he was no longer allowed on the roof he gave me the most devious look I’ve ever seen and then he laughed. I found out that he also fell while he was on the roof, but fortunately, he didn’t fall off the roof.

Memories…and that is just from the last two weeks.

I actually think God has a sense of humor. Here I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but I wasn’t able to carry my own children due to a physical illness and I’ve always wanted to know my father. So, it appears that God is allowing me to mother my father all at the same time!

How can one not see what a great blessing this is.

I used to hate Mother’s Day, especially at church. The main reason is because the church usually ignores childless women, and they discount people who have had abusive mothers. I fall into both of those categories. Yet, this year, my father wants to go to church and it just so happens that it falls on Mother’s Day. I haven’t stepped foot in a traditional (state run business church) in over five years. (In case you don’t know, I refer to the church in America generally as a “state run business church and social club”, most of the time because usually the Holy Spirit is quenched and well, let’s just say that there’s not much of Christ in these churches.

Yet, here I am, on a new path, walking with my father through the last stages of his life. He told me he’s asked God for 100 years, so if God obliges I’ve got 13 years left with my father. He wants to go to church, and I think that’s a good thing.

So, this year, on Mother’s Day, I will attend a state run business church and social club, in order to make my father happy. That’s what a good mother would do right 🙂

I will have to remind him to take a shower first and then when he nods off during church (which he will) I will wake him up.

It’s interesting, because if you think about it, most of our spiritual lives are just that – trying to get ourselves clean and then falling asleep and not paying attention to what God may be telling us.

Those are my thoughts. Not the usual things I share with my blog readers, but a delight and joy to be walking in this path now. The gift of mothering and knowing my Dad, all rolled up in one.

If you’re thinking God has forgotten the desires of your heart, just wait, because a big surprise could be just around the corner for you too.

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