Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Becoming Faithful Questioners and Social Poets

Home
Progressive Christian
The Disillusionment of Church: Why Even Bother?

The Disillusionment of Church: Why Even Bother?

Last updated on: December 4, 2022 at 9:57 am by Andrew Lang

The Disillusionment of Church: Why Even Bother? 2022-12-04T09:57:57-08:00 Andrew Lang

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Andrew Lang | Unmasking the Inner Critic | Contemplative Spirituality

Preston Goff/Unsplash

I sat in the front row of my childhood church in what I knew to be my family’s final service with the community I had grown up with. Now at 18, I had spent more than ten years here and many of my formative memories had taken place within these walls.

As community members wished us well and shared stories from eleven years of friendship and connection, I felt increasingly overwhelmed by the transition that was taking place.

One church member began to cry as she spoke.

She shared what it meant to her to watch our once-young family grow up, seeing my older brother venture off to college, and watching from afar as I chased my baseball dreams. When her eyes locked on mine, tears began to streak down my face, an impulse I still have to this day whenever I see another person cry.

At the end of the service, my tear-filled eyes scanned across the room, landing on one of the oldest gentlemen in our church striding toward me with determined focus.

Dale had been an ever-present figure in my growing up, attending every Sunday service, along with various committee meetings, classes, and church outings. As I played in the corner of church meetings or sprinted across the grass at church potlucks, Dale would invariably be engaging in small talk with anyone he could. If there was a church event, he was there.

He walked toward me, his long strides slowing as the sea of people began to evaporate, the celebration of our time there moving from the sanctuary to the coffee area. He came up to me, his eyes still locked on mine, and placed a firm hand on my shoulder, uttering a statement I would never forget.

“Men don’t cry.”

I stood for a moment in shock, not quite sure how to respond, while another church member quickly stepped in and whisked Dale away. In the momentary reprieve from hugs and attention, I felt alone and confused, riddled with questions emerging from an unknown space within me.

Why would he say that to me?

How could someone be so unempathetic?

And most of all: if this is what a lifetime of spiritual formation produced, why even bother?

My new book is now available!

“In Unmasking the Inner Critic, Andrew Lang has created a beautiful and accessible guidebook to help you do the inner work central to the act of being human.”

—Brian D. McLaren, author, activist, and teacher with the Center for Action and Contemplation

Rooted in the teachings of mystics, saints, poets, and prophets, Unmasking the Inner Critic: Lessons for Living an Unconstricted Life offers guidance and support for how to move beyond some of our most challenging fears and negative inner narratives.

With an intuitive blend of reflection questions, contemplative practices, action prompts, and his own personal story, Andrew Lang shares the wisdom from secular poets and therapists—as well as from Christianity, Buddhism, and Sufism—that has grounded his workshops for almost a decade.

Discover how to:

do the work of inner excavation with spiritual practices that hold and embolden it,
dig deeper for a more authentic way of living and being who you truly are,
lay aside the masks that keep you from fully experiencing the world,
engage the inner life as the beginning of sustainable activism, and
live a healthier, more confident, and well-grounded life.

The perfect book for progressive Christians, secular seekers, and those who are deconstructing Christianity, Unmasking the Inner Critic helps us expand our spirituality beyond the institution of religion for our personal transformation and communal healing.

Get it on Amazon here.

Faithful Questioners

Church

Spiritual Formation

About Andrew Lang

Andrew Lang is an educator in the Pacific Northwest, an alumnus of Richard Rohr’s Living School for Action and Contemplation, and author of Unmasking the Inner Critic: Lessons for Living an Unconstricted Life. Along with blogging regularly, he facilitates workshops helping people to navigate their inner lives and explore their sense of identity and spirituality. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

November 14, 2022

There is No Such Thing as a "Calling"

Next Post

November 28, 2022 "Wow, there's beauty here."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Body Practices Book Recommendation Conversations Events Faithful Questioners Image of the Divine Social Poets Spiritual Practice Uncategorized Unmasking the Inner Critic Welcome Wisdom Teachers

Select a Month December 2023 November 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz