Why Paris is Such an Utter Plonker – UPDATED

Last updated on: January 14, 2015 at 5:07 pm by Calah Alexander

Why Paris is Such an Utter Plonker – UPDATED 2015-01-14T17:07:42-05:00 Calah Alexander

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paris is a plonker

This bit of amazingness is brought to you by Jenks at Greek Myth Comix. She* graciously allowed me to repost it here for y’all, but you should definitely, definitely head over to her blog and check out the hilarious commentary that follows the comic. Here’s an excerpt:

Helen, after being forced to go to Paris’ bedchamber by Aphrodite who threatens to end her, tells him in no uncertain terms that she wishes he was dead. He replies like a total creep: “Wife, do not deride my courage with these hard taunts. This time Menelaus has beaten me with Athene’s aid, and another time I shall beat him: there are gods on my side too. [EDIT: What? WHAT? You were rescued by Aphrodite from a duel, a duel that in fact was solemnised by a sacrifice in order that the winner would take Helen home. You are not the winner. *resists urge to punch him in the face*] No, come, let us enjoy the bed of love. Never before has desire so enveloped my heart, not even that first time when I stole you away from lovely Lakedaimon and sailed off with you in my seafaring ships…” ***Book 6.*In modern language, this is something like ‘I love it when you’re angry’, and ‘I want to rape you like I’ve never raped you before…’Nice.

(Read the rest at Greek Myth Comix)

Honestly, this artist is absolutely brilliant. She has an infographic of deaths in the Iliad, which I would like framed on our living room wall, because it’s epic. (<– lol get it? epic? EPIC?)

Oh, but the Iliad isn’t your thing? No worries, because she’s illustrated books 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, and 12 of the Odyssey. But you don’t like epics? Then go laugh hysterically at the myth comics. The only way you won’t like this site is if you don’t like to read things from the culture that gave birth to Western Civilization, and if that’s the case, you need help that I can’t give you.

As for me, I just discovered she also sells mugs , which is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. Trying to figure out what to get the Ogre for his birthday is totally not something I’m going to have to worry about now. Seriously, stuff like this is why I ♥ the internet.

*Update: Actually, Jenks is a SHE, not a HE.

EPIC facepalm. (yeah, I know, I’ll quit with the epic puns, already…maybe)

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