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Get This, Not That: Round 3

Get This, Not That: Round 3

Last updated on: December 28, 2014 at 3:14 pm by Calah Alexander

Get This, Not That: Round 3 2014-12-28T15:14:32-05:00 Calah Alexander

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I’ll take a second and let you overcome the shock of an on-time post.

Now that I’ve done the same, let’s talk about gifts for boys, shall we? Little boys, though, because those are the only kind I have any positive experience with. (For some reason, my brothers have never appreciated my Christmas gifts of copious hugs, noogies, and admonitions to marry their girlfriends. Color me bewildered.)

Get This: Reasonably Sized Play Tent

Not That: The Tent That Ate Christmas

Because it turns out that measurements aren’t just meaningless numbers at the end of the product description.

Get This: LEGO Ultimate Building Set

Not That: Lincoln Logs Classic Edition Tin

Because if my children are any indication, the Ogre is right about me being the only child in the history of children who enjoyed playing with Lincoln Logs.

Get This: Crayola 8 Count Washable Window Markers

Not That: Crayola Dry Erase Decals

Because 2 and 4 year old boys have an absurdly hard time differentiating between “decal” and “wall”. They’ve got “window” down cold, though. It’s that thing they’re constantly trying to climb out of.

Get This: Ninja Turtles Flip-Out Sofa

Not That:Miniature Sofa That Is Way Too Expensive For Boys To Destroy

Because while I had visions of providing a sturdy, cozy place for my boys to sit peacefully in during storytime, while swinging their chubby legs and looking cherubic, they had visions of storming a castle, jumping on a trampoline, and the floor turning into lava. (Also, everyone knows storytime is for sitting on Mom.)

Get This: Mike the Knight Sword and Shield

Not That: Crappy Plastic Battle Set

Because the Mike the Knight set is impressively sturdy and appropriately sized for short, stocky children, whereas the other set is a crap sandwich made of hollow plastic and absurdity.

Get This: Little People City Skyway

Not That: Matchbox Tri-Level Garage Playset

Because despite the screwing difficulties, the Little People playset is mind-bogglingly sturdy for something made out of plastic. The Matchbox garage, not so much. I’ve also learned to be deeply suspicious of crank-action plastic elevators that “really work”, because they usually do really work — when adults carefully operate them. Small, uncoordinated, eager fingers are more likely to break them than operate them, and then Christmas day turns into a giant puddle of frustration and tears.

Get This: Rescue Puppy

Not That: Robot Puppy

Because a boy needs a dog.

And so does a girl!

And again I say unto you: no batteries.

That’s about all I can think of for the boys. Tomorrow should be fun, though, because I get to tell you what NOT to get your wife for Christmas. And this is a subject I feel very passionately about, so, lucky you.

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December 17, 2014

Get This, Not That: Round 2

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December 23, 2014 Get This, Not That: Round 4

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