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Get This, Not That: Round 2

Get This, Not That: Round 2

Last updated on: December 28, 2014 at 3:14 pm by Calah Alexander

Get This, Not That: Round 2 2014-12-28T15:14:58-05:00 Calah Alexander

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Yeah, I know I promised you this post yesterday, but it’s the time of year when I panic, procrastinate, and go hide in my closet with my laptop and headphones to watch Love Actually. (<–Dear CPS: that is hyperbole. I would never, ever do that, unless everyone was napping.)

Anyway, tomorrow is relative, right? Some of you might not have read that post until yesterday, in which case, I’m actually right on time. Which makes me early, by my standards.

I’m stop talking now. Oh, just kidding, I won’t. Quick reminder: if you buy anything from Amazon through these links, I get a teensy part of the profit, which I desperately need, because pee couch. Just FYI, if you add something to your cart through my link but don’t buy it within 24 hours, I no longer get the bonus pennies. So please don’t do that!

Let’s play Round 2: Gifts for Girlchildren!

Get This: Bubble Guppies Dress-Up Doll

Not That: Hooker Fairy Doll

If you’re like us, you don’t let your kids play with Barbies because something about body image and detrimental messaging or something. I don’t know, it all gets fuzzier as Christmas gets closer and my care-o-meter drops. But a rule is a rule, so we don’t do Barbies. Here’s a fun fact, though: just because a doll is a “fairy”, not a “Barbie”, does not mean that you are going to be giving your daughter a tiny replica of Titania. You might be giving her Commercial Fairyland’s answer to Brittany Spears that time she went out in public with no undies on. That’s why we go with Bubble Guppies. She might also be wearing just undies on her human parts, but 1) you can’t remove them, 2) she comes with extra, full-length clothes, and 2) she’s shaped like a normal girl-child, not a Navi. Minus the tail, of course.

Get This: LEGO Movie Cloud Cuckoo Palace

Not This: LEGO Friends 41035 Heartlake Juice Bar

Because some girls like Star Trek and astronauts too. Granted, my Charlotte is the prettiest princess ever to grace the female sex, but the Lego friends set we got her last year was a zillion times easier (and more boring) than the one we got her younger brother. We don’t need Lego dumbing down its toy sets on account of our daughters’ XY chromosomes.

Get This: Snap Circuits

Not That: Goldie Blox and The Spinning Machine

Because being a girl is not a disability requiring special girl-toys that are just not as awesome as the already existing boy-toys.

Get This: Andy Macdonald Skateboard

Not That: Penny Board

Because penny boards are tiny and cute and adorably retro, but they can be dangerous — ESPECIALLY if you have a kid like my Sienna, who will have mastered riding it and be attempting tricks an hour after it’s out of the box.

Get This: Doc McStuffins Doctor’s Bag

Not That: Uncomfortably Accurate Doctor’s Set

Because the Doc McStuffins’ kit might not be extensive, but it’s sparkly, and sparkles are fun. It also does not contain items that might lead to terrifyingly detailed descriptions of surgical procedures (scalpel and clamp, really?) nor does it contain instruments of potential fratricide (no thank you, hammer and tongue depressor). But most importantly, nothing in the Doc McStuffins’ kit needs batteries, which means less lighting-up-making-noise nonsense on Christmas day. You’re welcome.

Get This: Rainbow Projector Night Light

Yes, it really does look like that

Not That: Flower Nightlight

Because why would you want a flower on your wall when you can have a rainbow over your bed?

That’s it for round 2. Go forth and embrace capitalism! Be back tomorrow for Round 3: The Boychildren.

(And by tomorrow I mean Sunday.)

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December 15, 2014

Get This, Not That (A Gift Guide for Errant Housewives): Round 1

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December 18, 2014 Get This, Not That: Round 3

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