Almost 7 Quick Takes Friday

Last updated on: March 9, 2017 at 5:03 pm by Calah Alexander

Almost 7 Quick Takes Friday 2017-03-09T17:03:58-05:00 Calah Alexander

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I would rather be doing this than typing, but I’m afraid I’d never get up again

Well. We survived the first week of school. And may I just say that even when you wake up at roughly the same time as you usually do, waking up and immediately springing into action as opposed to stumbling around and drinking coffee for an hour makes the days seem so much longer. So, so much longer.

Endlessly long.

These days are made longer because the knowledge I gained over the summer, that hanging out with people IRL makes me a better, happier person, has resulted in me making, like, multiple playdates a week.

Multiple. As in more than one.

Most of these are with mothers who I’ve only hung out with once or twice (since that’s basically everyone in Ave Maria), so I figured I should wait until the third playdate before bringing my handy-dandy playdate bible.

Tragically, the Google image search I just ran to find that picture informed me in no uncertain terms that I am clearly an alcoholic and need help, because drinking is an ADDICTION and drinking around your children is GROUNDS FOR CPS INTERVENTION!!!!

I really hope CPS can handle the case load of every child in Italy and France. Because those parents aren’t just total slobbering alcoholics on playdates…they drink all day long. It might be time to turn those entire countries into giant inpatient rehab facilities.

Sometimes the internet makes me grumpy.

Other times, like when it tells me that I could actually really find really real buried treasure, it makes me insanely happy.

Until I remember that treasure hunts require the hunter to be able to read a map. Then I get grumpy again.

In times of dire grumpiness, nothing makes me smile like the Postmodern Essay Generator, via Gizoogle.

Here’s the first sentence, in case you’re not convinced enough to click the link:

“ ‘Sexualitizzle is part of tha absurditizzle of truth,’ says Marx. Well shiiiit, it could be holla’d that Sartre suggests tha use of postmaterialist hoodizzle ta challenge hierarchy.”

Clearly I’m scraping the barrel to come up with these quick takes. I can’t even think of one for this one. Or the next one. So here’s Dylan Moran, to bring the funny into your Friday (language warning!):

Happy weekend! Go see Jen for more quick takes.

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