Shell-Shocked and Sleep-Deprived

Last updated on: March 9, 2017 at 5:10 pm by Calah Alexander

Shell-Shocked and Sleep-Deprived 2017-03-09T17:10:38-05:00 Calah Alexander

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Dudes. I am shell-shocked. And sorry I’ve been so MIA, but mostly shell-shocked.

Newborns trick you in the first week of their wee little lives. They’re all sweet and cozy and sleepy and delicious-smelling, and they eat well and sleep well and their tiny faces are beautiful and everyone is peaceful and loving.

And then the second week happens, and you begin to see a glimpse of their true personality. Sometimes the newborns stay sweet and wonderful, but mostly it becomes mass chaos as the novelty wears off, the toddlers begin demanding that you “put bebe down”, the help starts to trickle off, and your husband goes back to work.

Then the third week begins and the baby starts to smell like spit-up, but you don’t have time to bathe him because you’re so busy trying to keep him from screaming, and his face breaks out in baby acne, and he never stops crying and he never sleeps anymore, and your parents leave, and your husband’s computer crashes and he’s stressed and working long, long hours, and the other kids are tired of being stuck inside and starting to invent dangerous games like “leap off the couch backward” out of sheer boredom, and eventually one night you find yourself locked in your closet, staring at the baby, having a competition to see who can shed the most tears in the ten minutes you have before one of the other kids breaks something. (And of course you win, because the baby can scream the loudest but doesn’t shed tears, and the fact that you feel momentarily triumphant about this reinforces to you how very sleep-deprived you are.)

But salvation comes, as it always does (for me at least) in the form of television shows that arrive precisely when you need them, that are interesting enough to keep you from falling asleep with the baby in your arms, and that are entertaining enough that you can forget (mostly) how much you’d rather be sleeping than walking/rocking/nursing the newest little minion.

When Sienna was born, that show was Veronica Mars. With Charlotte it was Battlestar Galactica. With Liam it was Doctor Who, and with this one it’s The Walking Dead. I was afraid to watch it at first because I was worried it would scare me enough to prevent me from sleeping during the rare moments when Linky sleeps, but as I told the Ogre last night, I’m afraid that something in my brain has broken, because instead of being afraid of the zombies I find the sight of them oddly comforting. (Please don’t psycho-analyze me in the combox, okay, because even though blogging is cheaper than therapy, I don’t actually want to find out what all the deeply disturbing aspects of my personality mean..at least not today.)

Most unfortunately, though, I can’t watch The Walking Dead while the kids are awake, so this is what I’ve been resorting to in order to keep me on my feet (or at least keep my eyes open) during the long hours of the day with three little attention-mongers. I hope you enjoy these links, but something tells me that only a person as sleep-deprived and slightly delirious as I am will find them highly amusing.

Also, I promise to eventually tell you the histrionic story of how I blacked out in the hospital, but my hands are mostly full of Lincoln lately, so it’ll have to wait until I’ve established basic survival skills with this new baby. Until then, please forgive me if I keep posting random, ridiculous videos.

In honor of last week’s debate:

Apparently this is a popular song/video right now. I can see why; it’s concentrated fun. Also, read this article first if you want to understand what the video is about. I found it very interesting.

Hilarious:

(You should watch the rest of the Honest Trailers if you thought this one was funny, but there is mild language in some of them)

And of course, this classic (language warning: this one you can’t really watch with the kids around, but I had to include it because it’s hilarious):

And now I have to go, because Lincoln just woke up from his 2.5 minute morning nap. See you soon, I hope. And hopefully not with more ridiculous video links.

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