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All My Exes Live In Texas

All My Exes Live In Texas

Last updated on: March 9, 2017 at 11:44 pm by Calah Alexander

All My Exes Live In Texas 2017-03-09T23:44:50-05:00 Calah Alexander

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Which is why I hang my hat in Las Vegas.

I realized, as I began to write this post, that this is actually not entirely true. Probably about half of my exes live in Texas. One of them lives in my house with me, and sleeps in my bed.

The scandal!

It’s a good thing he came to his senses and married me.

Upon realizing that not all of my exes live in Texas, I decided that it would be a good time to move back there.

So, we are.

In this space, I originally planned to put a picture illustrating my love for Texas and my warm squishy feelings about returning to the state that spawned me, but then I saw this and couldn’t stop laughing. You’re welcome.

But really, we’re moving to Texas.

That is the good news.

Pretty much everything that follows this public service announcement is going to be not-so-good news.

This is the part that I’m the most freaked out about rightthisverysecond: we’re moving in three weeks.

THREE. Weeks.

And our house looks…the same as it always does. Perhaps slightly messier, as the knowledge that I am going to have to pack the entire thing up in record time has somehow caused me to revolt against cleaning doing anything.

We have to move that soon because we are planning on having a jewelry show in Texas, and my mom thinks it will be best to do it before all the teachers at the school she works for have abdicated for the summer. So that gives us a very short window of time in which to frantically make jewelry while packing.

How I’m Feeling on the Inside

Now, the next thing I’m freaking out about is this: the Ogre will not be joining us.

Oh yes, you read that right. He will help us pack and drive across the country and stay for a week or two, but then he’s coming back to Las Vegas. He’s going to get a studio apartment near campus and spend the summer frantically prepping for his qualifying exams, then he will teach the fall semester while writing his prospectus. So we can expect to be reunited with our rock, our foundation, our sanity, our after-dinner-dishwasher, in December.

How I’m Looking on the Outside

Why, you ask? Why would we embark on such a journey?

The answer is two-fold. First, and primarily, the Ogre needs as much time as we can possibly give him to prepare for his qualifying exams. Originally I had planned to take the kids to Texas for a month or two this summer, but then something else came up that made us reconsider that plan.

That something else is my grandad, my dad’s dad. He is getting older, and his wife died about five years ago, so he’s living alone. He’s getting to the point where he needs someone to be around to help take care of him.

He lives alone in a three-bedroom house with a nice backyard which is literally right next to a park and a playground. It’s the perfect house to have kids in. The Ogre and I have no idea where we’ll be going after his qualifying exams. He’ll send out applications, but the market right now is terrible. There are tons of universities and community colleges within a fifteen-mile radius of my grandfather’s house, so it’s a great place to be living while he’s looking for a job. Additionally, if he can’t find a job right away, I can always resume my master’s at UD and we can live on loans for a little while until he gets a job, or I can try to get a job and work while he is writing his dissertation. We’ll be living with my grandfather rent-free, so our expenses will be minimal, and we’ve already accustomed ourselves to living on very, very little.

And I want to help my grandfather. I hate thinking about him getting old alone. He’s got two children and several grandchildren nearby, but they have their own lives. If we were living with him, it would give him more to live for. I hope that it would make his last years more pleasant.

Of course, this could be a short-term thing. Once the Ogre finishes his exams he’ll send out applications everywhere, and if he gets a job at, say, Wyoming Catholic, we’ll be packing up again.

But for now, it seems to be a good solution. It will give the Ogre the time he needs to write, the kids and I will have an actual house with a backyard to live in, we’ll be close to our family again, and when the Ogre re-joins us things will be remarkably less stressful and more pleasant.

But the immediate future is slightly more than intimidating. I have a feeling that this is what I will look like for the next three weeks:

Well, sort of. Remove the skirt and heels and replace with flip flops and capris, remove briefcase and replace with boxes and packing tape, remove bottle and replace with contents of unhooked nursing bra, keep laptop because blogging is essential, and triple the wine. So, actually, I won’t look much like this at all. But you get the idea.

I’ll keep blogging, though, because it should be fun for you to watch as I completely unravel and begin speaking gibberish.

Oh! And on a related note, if any of you live near the Dallas/Ft. Worth area or will be there in June, please email me and I’ll invite you to our second jewelry show! If you like jewelry, that is. Or if you just want to come and snag some free appetizers and wine. I won’t judge you.

In the meantime, prayers for my sanity and a smooth resolution to the myriad of details that are sure to crop up and need to be resolved would be so very appreciated. As would helpful notes in my combox, like “You can do it!” or “Don’t pack the glass vases with the cast-iron pans!”

And now, I need to find a healthy outlet for my stress before attacking the closets without mercy.

Ah yes, here’s one.

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