The Fattest of Tuesdays

Last updated on: March 10, 2017 at 10:55 am by Calah Alexander

The Fattest of Tuesdays 2017-03-10T10:55:00-05:00 Calah Alexander

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Happy Mardi Gras! Yay! I love Mardi Gras. I always have, even when I didn’t celebrate Lent. For some reason, the idea of the great feast before the fast has always made sense to me. This probably dates back to the various and sundry diets I was perpetually on as a (not at all overweight) teenager, wherein I would make a million peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, eat them throughout the day, interspersed with nachos at some point, go to bed feeling ill, then eat one nutra-grain bar or two slim-fasts per day for two weeks. Until I was so hungry I couldn’t take it anymore, at which point I would make a million peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, eat them throughout the day…and, well, you get the picture.

It was like “The Song that Never Ends.”

Hahaha! Now you have that song stuck in your head! Oh hahahahaha! You’re all gonna hate me by the end of this day, when you’re hunched over your wine and king cake, miserably hiccuping, “and it goes on and on my friends, some people started singin it…”

Or at least I will. I seriously hate that song. And now it’s stuck in my head.

Divine retribution, see?

Anyway. Mardi Gras! I’m making a King Cake tonight, since I felt the need to do something festive and starchy, seeing as we’re giving up grains and sweets for Lent. Speaking of which, do you guys read Wellness Mama? She is so cool. Three days after the Ogre and I decided that we’d be giving up grains and sweets, Wellness Mama put forth a Lenten Grain-Free Challenge. She’s going to provide us with recipes, meal plans, tips and tricks, the works! I’m so excited. This will make it so much easier to go grain-free, not to mention the fact that her recipes sound incredibly drool-worthy.

But all that starts tomorrow. Today I’m in full-on prep mode, which includes grocery shopping, ridding the pantry and fridge of starchy and sugary temptations, consuming my last heavenly cup of black tea with sugar, making king cake and trying to ply friends with the leftovers, and generally behaving like a cyclone of neuroses, which is causing my children to cower in the corner and my husband to say, “Please don’t forget to breathe” every time I sweep past him.

I also promised Sienna that we could make masks tonight for Mardi Gras. It seems that I’m exceptionally good at making promises I can’t keep, because I have no idea how to do this. Ideas, anyone? I really don’t want to have to surf the internet for several hours to come up with a workable idea, but I did promise. We’ll see what happens.

Oh, I guess you’re all wondering if the Ogre suffered self-cremation on Sunday.

He didn’t. He didn’t even remotely spark. It was quite the let-down, not to mention the fact that I’ve since had to put up with endless taunts about his inflammability. I keep having to stop myself from saying, “Oh yeah? Let’s really test that theory, buddy.” But I won’t, because I love my husband.

Also, it’s kind of cool to think that he might actually be inflammable. That could come in handy if we’re ever stuck in a burning building.

Here’s the one picture I managed to snap of the Poulet au Porto.

Although you can’t tell in this picture, the small cast-iron pot has pretty blue flames dancing around the chicken. And yes, the Ogre is saying, “I told you I’m inflammable. Now get back in here and finish cooking dinner.”

I must admit, it was the best chicken I’ve ever eaten. I even (totally indelicately) went after the chicken bone with my fingers at the end of the meal.

In my defense, I hadn’t eaten since 9 am and dinner wasn’t served until 9 pm. And I had had a little bit of wine by that point. Don’t judge. You’d have done it too, I promise. The chicken was that good.

Oh, as a last note, you might want to check out my sidebar. You’ll notice some new additions over there, including Dorian Speed’s blog (very helpful for you homeschooling mamas, or those of you who, like me, pretend to homeschool), Sally Thomas’s lovely blog Castle in the Sea, the awesome Creative Minority Report, my clever friend Janet’s new blog Food and Money (great for those of us on a strict food budget!), and the soulful (I hate that word, but here it’s actually applicable) Pentimento. I’m not adding links because, well, they’re two inches to the left of what you’re reading right now. Go! Click! Enjoy!

Happy Mardi Gras, everyone!

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