The Dreaded Jeans + The Inappropriate Comment of the Day!

Last updated on: January 11, 2015 at 4:24 pm by Calah Alexander

The Dreaded Jeans + The Inappropriate Comment of the Day! 2015-01-11T16:24:28-05:00 Calah Alexander

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I know I promised to write about fairy tales, and I’m going to. It’s just that the research for this particular post involves reading Tremendous Trifles, and I got so distracted by the research that I sort of forgot about the post.

G.K. Chesterton is hilarious.

Anyway, my parents are also in town for a surprise visit (hurrah!) so I probably won’t have time to get to the fairy-tale post until tomorrow night. But I thought I would let you know, in case you were under a different impression, that Jeggings are the worst. idea. ever.

What moron came up with this? I really do understand the concept. Skinny jeans, blousy tops and boots are kind of in right now (actually, are those things still in? Someone correct me if I’m wrong. I saw a lot of them at Old Navy so I just assumed.), so it makes sense that someone would say, “You know what? That button and zipper seem like an awful lot of work for someone to do first thing in the morning. Let’s just eliminate them altogether.” But what they’ve created in the place of the button and zipper resemble nothing so much as a medieval torture device.

I have to make a confession. I went to Old Navy yesterday because it was time. I don’t yet fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but my maternity jeans are now falling off me, so I had to make that most dreaded of all purchases: the post-partum jeans. I love jeans and pretty much refuse to wear anything else, even though my waistline is getting to that size where I should really consider stretchy skirts and slacks. Nevertheless, I found a pair of (enormous) jeans that buttoned (!) and were comfortable (!!). Then…I did something really stupid. I turned my head.

And there, right next to my comfy jeans, were a rack of jeggings. I thought, Hmmmm…they have an elastic waistband. The tag says “stretchy”. I could wear them with giant sweaters and blouses and hide my post-partum stomach without looking frumpy and while still being comfortable. My thought process ended there, while it should have continued on to but compare the size of them with the size of those jeans you’re holding.

But no. I just grabbed them and grabbed a couple giant tops and took off, foolishly optimistic, in the direction of the dressing room.

As those of you who have seen or, God forbid, tried on these creations can imagine, after about ten minutes of huffing, puffing and pulling I managed to get the jeggings over my ample hips. And let me tell you, nothing tells you the truth like a fitting-room mirror. And this mirror said: Jeans, t-shirts and yoga pants are your best friends for the next few months until you shed this baby weight. Please don’t ever try this again. You’re hurting me. Love, the painfully honest, fluorescently-lit Old Navy mirror.

So I came away with comfortably large jeans, one big button-up shirt, and two pairs of yoga pants. And all was well with the world.

Speaking of the world, I’m adding a new feature on my blog! This one is called “The Inappropriate Comment of the Day.” Sometimes, like today, it will be combined with a post; sometimes it will stand on it’s own. Sometimes names will be changed to protect those who say these things; sometimes they won’t. Sometimes they will have actually been said on that day, to me; sometimes they’ll be old comments or said to someone else. But one thing I can guarantee: they will always be massively, incredibly inappropriate.

We’ll start out with something that was said to us by a grocery store employee. Here’s how the exchange went.

Grocery store employee: Are you pregnant again?
Me: Yes I am!
Grocery store employee: (Gesturing toward the Ogre) Is he gonna get snipped now?

Inappropriate? Yes! Insulting? Absolutely! None of her business? Completely!

And that concludes today’s inappropriate comment.

Uncategorized

postpartum

the inappropriate comment of the day

weight

Previous Post

October 2, 2010

The Saturday Evening Blog Post

Next Post

October 7, 2010 Children Need Fairy-Tales...and So Do Adults

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 April 2016 March 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz