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Bad Catholic

LMAO

Last updated on: February 2, 2011 at 11:55 pm   by Marc

LMAO 2011-02-02T23:55:00-05:00 Marc

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

We are funny. Before I explain why, I wanted to share a facebook message thread between myself and some friends who were preparing for our Antioch retreat.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 4:39pm

So I was thinking that it would be muchos fantastic if everyone could pray perhaps a rosary tonight at around 930 o clock for the kids coming to Antioch. We will join in spiritual communion.

But, Heaven is outside of time, so if you can’t, no worries. May God make us humble of heart and earnest in spirit!

E_________ January 13 at 4:47pm Reply • Report

your atrocious grammar in the subject line makes me reluctant to go. but whatever, God is bigger than the english language. yeah i’ll do it!

E_________ January 13 at 4:48pm Reply • Report

**pray. i don’t know why i said ‘go’… i don’t know english either….

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 6:25pm Reply • Report

Marc, solid idea.
Shall we say Luminous mysteries, or just leave it up to ourselves?

T_________ January 13 at 7:15pm Reply • Report

Antioch team brain waves must me mightily strong. I just finished the Luminous mysteries at ~6:40 and am now speechless.

ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WAIT ‘TILL TOMORROW!!!…Aahhh:D

Sent via Facebook Mobile

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 9:58pm Reply • Report

It’s gonna be awesome.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 10:24pm

ITS GONNA BE LIIKE GETTING KICKED IN THE FACE BY PURE AWESOMENESS REPEATEDLY UNTIL WE ALL DIE.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:27pm Reply • Report

The participants are not going to know what hit them. But then we’ll tell them that it was the FOOT OF GOD.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 10:28pm

Yes, in these end times, or Lord has seen it wise to move from licking our faces to KICKING THEM.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:30pm Reply • Report

It’s the great purgation, man. Nothing will ever be the same.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 10:32pm

our noses will bleed as we weep in the most intense experience of joy any being has been able to handle. And then our minds will explode out of our eyes.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:34pm Reply • Report

It’s like the blackest coffee you could imagine being made with a french press of pain. And we will sob on the floor as our savior brings us to glory. And all of the angels will carry us onwards through the flood.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 10:36pm

and our deep, earth-shaking roars of happiness will cause mountains to fall. And then Aslan will eat us.

L________ January 13 at 10:38pm Reply • Report

I think, NO, I AM going to frame this.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:39pm Reply • Report

With forks made of angels and a knife shaped like the cross.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 10:42pm

on a plate surrounded by the twelve tribes of Jacob, all of whom egg him on by chanting “Aslan, Aslan!” and “Catholic, Catholic, Catholic!” in 5/4.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:44pm Reply • Report

And the giant man eating grasshoppers will devour the heretics.

And then the entire earth will explode.

A________ January 13 at 10:45pm Reply • Report

AHHH!!!! i will never forgive you for ruining this moment with 5/4.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 10:46pm Reply • Report

Ok, you’re right, A______, they will chant in that heavenly signature which is the fulfillment of 5/4.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 11:00pm

and a_____ will be taken up into heavenly levitation and given a divine, apostolic version of Just Dance 2, except it will be Just Dance 7, and she will dance in the skies as the last remnants of the earth form the words, “The freaking end. Am I good or what? Much Love, God.”

B____________ January 13 at 11:02pm Reply • Report

and Daniel will run, out of nowhere, and flip over a table in the name of Jesus

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 11:03pm Reply • Report

And she damn well better like it. For with the dancing shall commence the heavenly jam, which will last for all eternity, with every instrument imaginable, and a large number of unimaginable ones. And voices and pounding and great choirs of everything.

E_______ January 13 at 11:04pm Reply • Report

guys now i’m more excited for the end times than i am for the retreat.

Daniel Beiter January 13 at 11:05pm Reply • Report

Well, then you’ll be glad to know that THEY’RE BOTH HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND.

Marc Barnes January 13 at 11:21pm

bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

Now this isn’t exactly the average humorous conversation, or the average conversation, period, but it serves my point. Which is that it’s funny to be Catholic. But before that, as with most things, it’s funny to be human. If humor is found in incongruity, then we are the greatest joke around. A rather awkward clash of beast and god, we’re the original “what do you get when you cross a ___ with a ____” joke. We don’t quite fit; we’re the only animals unsatisfied with our home on earth, constantly fighting with our own fallen nature.

If humor is found in the unexpected, we should crack ourselves up when we pass each other on the street. There is nothing quite so startling, quite so very shocking as another human being, and one walking around at that. All of us were quite unexpectedly saved by a God who loves us. All of us are miracles of grace.

If humor is simply that which doesn’t make sense, well that’s true too. The love of God makes no sense whatsoever. That’s a fact I’m often hit with in Adoration, actually, that the love of God is crazy stupid, by all practical measurements. I’ve often laughed out loud, not at God, but with God, full of incomprehension of his divine love, reduced to saying, WHY? Why do you love screw-ups and scorners? Who knows. The riddles of God are more satisfying then the answers of man.

So be joyful!

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