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Astrology and the Two Cows Philosophy

Astrology and the Two Cows Philosophy

Last updated on: October 22, 2008 at 3:41 pm by Lynn Hayes

Astrology and the Two Cows Philosophy 2008-10-22T15:41:10-04:00 Lynn Hayes

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Rich sent me this dissertation on the Two Cows Philosophy of Government a few weeks ago, and then when I saw it on Twilight’s blog it triggered some pondering on the relationship of astrology to this new governmental theory.

Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

This is the Uranian theory of equality and fairness among all people.

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

This is the Cancerian theory that says “I know more about what you need than you do.”

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

This is the Saturn/Pluto conjunction, the dark side of power and commerce.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

This is Jupiter/Pluto gone berserk where the pursuit of power destroys good judgment.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Saturn in Taurus. The practical side of power and commerce, and an appreciation of bulls.

Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Saturn square Pluto. The act of force to increase power.

Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

This happens when Chiron squares Pluto and the attempt to use power to heal the world backfires.

SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

Uranus in its purest depersonalized form.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

The dark side of Capricorn.

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

The square of Neptune (compassion) to Jupiter (prosperity).

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Mars square Jupiter – my desires are better than your desires.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

The genius of Mercury (mental function) in Uranus (innovation).

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

Mercury (mental function) in Virgo (practicality and efficiency).

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

The Venus/Jupiter opposition. Whatever feels good, do it.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Mercury in Pisces – 12, 42, what’s the difference? Let’s transcend this mortal plane.

SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

Mars in Capricorn – making a business out of anything.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

Jupiter in Capricorn – good luck in all things business-relalted.

A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan “countryside” and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels and the Jews.

Neptune square to a Jupiter/Pluto conjunction (I refuse to allow your reality to interfere with my aggrandized sense of importance).

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

Neptune conjunct Jupiter trine Venus: God is everywhere.

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