{"id":12819,"date":"2024-07-09T05:00:50","date_gmt":"2024-07-09T09:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/askshaunti\/?p=12819"},"modified":"2024-07-08T15:56:47","modified_gmt":"2024-07-08T19:56:47","slug":"back-to-school-prep-add-kindness-to-the-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/askshaunti\/2024\/07\/back-to-school-prep-add-kindness-to-the-list\/","title":{"rendered":"Back-To-School Prep – Add Kindness To The List"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
<\/p>\n
I\u2019m honored to bring you a guest blog this week from children\u2019s author (and my former senior editor) Katie Kenny Phillips. Katie is \u201ca writer for kids (and their grown-ups!)\u201d and I invited her this week to write a guest blog that my readers have asked for \u2013 principles from <\/em>The Kindness Challenge<\/a> adapted for kids. Enjoy! (And after reading today\u2019s blog, I know you\u2019ll want to <\/em>check out Katie\u2019s books here<\/em><\/a>!)<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
By Katie Kenny Phillips<\/a><\/p>\n
Summer is about to end for many of us. In the South, our kids head back to school at the beginning of August. For some of you, you\u2019re smack dab in the middle of your glorious summer and your kids might start back to school much later. Wherever you find yourselves, one thing is certain: heading back to the classroom means back-to-school prep.<\/p>\n
A few years ago, our elementary school (bless them!) began giving us the option to order back-to-school supply kits that included everything they needed for each grade. For this non-shopping-loving mama, I couldn\u2019t hit \u201cpurchase now\u201d fast enough. No more wandering the aisles at the end of the summer with each of my five kids, searching for the correct three-prong orange folder (WITH POCKETS, MOM!) No more \u201cWhere are the purple pens? No, not THAT kind of purple!\u201d No more tears of frustration \u2026 I mean, my kids really hated when I did that in our local Target.<\/p>\n
But what about preparing them for other things they\u2019ll need at school? Like the skills to deal with their relationships when they become more complex and prickly? Like \u2026<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\nWhen a best friend doesn\u2019t always act like a best friend every day<\/li>\nWhen a teacher is sometimes grumpy with them but they seem nice to the other students<\/li>\nOr when a teammate is not always the easiest to get along with<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n*
**
\u00a0<\/p>\n
**
<\/p>\n
**
*<\/h2>\n
Kindness Begins at Home<\/strong><\/h2>\n***
**
Navigating relationships can be tricky. But these are skills we need to cultivate and practice at home before heading back into the classroom.<\/p>\n
**
***One of the best ways we can set our kids up for success is by helping them learn the simple art of being kind. If we focus on being proactively kind \u2013 especially in our relationships with our more challenging people (ugh, you know who I\u2019m talking about!), kindness affects our own responses and feelings which can make life a whole lot better for ourselves and others.<\/p>\n
So how do we help our kids practice kindness so they\u2019re prepared for the upcoming school year? My recommendation is to turn The Kindness Challenge<\/a> by Shaunti Feldhahn into a game. As a family, you can practice flexing your kindness muscle at home before school starts. If your house is anything like mine, there are groups of siblings who take turns being irritated by each other. Someone\u2019s always annoyed so therefore there\u2019s always a kid who can play the game. Help your child pick someone they struggle with and explain the rules of the kindness game.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n
Here\u2019s how to start:<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/h2>\n
Rule 1: Do not say anything unkind to or about the person\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n*******
**
Explain to your child that they will say nothing negative about their person (either to their face or behind their back.) You might need to establish a code with your child in case they slip up. Remember Carol Burnett tugging on her ear at the end of her show as a secret message to her family? Go ahead and tug your ear, pat your head, or do a leprechaun kick if you hear your child falling into the old habit of saying something unkind. They can stop themselves mid-sentence, and say, \u201cWhoops, that wasn\u2019t kind. Sorry!\u201d<\/p>\n
**
Let your child know that the more they practice refraining from saying unkind words, the better they will feel. Keep track on a calendar or notebook to mark the progress. It\u2019s amazing how seeing the momentum build \u2013 and starting to notice how their person responds \u2013 can encourage your child to keep the kindness train moving.<\/p>\n
**
\u00a0<\/p>\n
**
<\/p>\n
**
*******<\/h2>\n
Rule 2: Find one positive thing you can say to them or about them every day<\/strong><\/h2>\n*********
**
Every day help your child brainstorm something positive they can say about their person. This can be tricky when their brother is always annoying <\/em>or their little sister always pesters <\/em>them.<\/p>\n
**
This may take some guiding questions on your part, as in: \u201cWhat\u2019s something cool that your brother does well? You like when he bakes cookies and cakes.\u201d This can lead to them telling their brother that the cookies he made last night for dessert were extra delicious. And maybe even asking if he would be willing to teach them how to make them sometime?<\/p>\n
**
Or you could prompt your child to think about their little sister and how she\u2019s always so cheerful in the morning. Your child could say, \u201cI really love how happy and sunshiny you are at breakfast. It makes me so happy to see your smile!\u201d\u00a0Ask your child if they notice anything different in their person when they say positive things to them.<\/p>\n
**
\u00a0<\/p>\n
**
*********<\/p>\n
<\/h2>\nRule 3: Do an act of kindness for them every day<\/strong><\/h2>\n*************
**
*************Help your child come up with something nice to do for their person every day. I remember when two of my boys were struggling in their relationship, I worked with them to stop and think how they could make each other\u2019s day. Some days it looked like us sneaking into their room and secretly making their bed. Other times we would be at the grocery store and I\u2019d ask one of them for their brother\u2019s favorite snack. \u201cLet\u2019s make their day!\u201d I\u2019d say. You\u2019d be surprised how fun it can be when you\u2019re actively searching for ways to be kind to someone else \u2013 even someone who is often difficult to get along with.<\/p>\n****
The Kindness Challenge<\/a> encourages participants to do these three steps over the course of thirty days to see what happens with the relationship. So often, people are shocked by how much their prickly relationships improve (I can vouch for it \u2013 I\u2019ve done it myself!) Their interactions with their person become more positive and how they feel about their person improves. Kindness changes us<\/em> \u2026 and a lot of times, it changes others.<\/p>\n
So let\u2019s be intentional as we prepare our kids for their upcoming school year. Of course that means the folders and pens and the impossible-to-find notebooks. But it also means practicing the skills they need to show kindness to others who may be a little difficult. When our kids practice at home, not only will the family dynamic improve, but they\u2019ll be gaining valuable experience in being a true light as they get ready to head off to school in the fall.<\/p>\n
Their kindness will make a real difference \u2013 and I think we\u2019d all agree, we need a little more of that in our homes and in the world.<\/p>\n
Oh, and of course, in the school supply aisle at Target.<\/p>\n
\n
Katie Kenny Phillips<\/a> is a children\u2019s author<\/a> and screenwriter and has spent the last decade as a freelance writer and editor, most notably with bestselling author\/speaker Shaunti Feldhahn<\/a>. She works with Director and Producer Shari Rigby and her ministry, The Women In My World<\/a>, and focuses on serving women of faith in entertainment and media.<\/p>\n
Katie lives in Atlanta and is a mom of five (three biological and two by way of foster care and adoption). Her most recent children\u2019s book, Today I Feel Like a Jelly Donut: A Book About Emotions<\/em><\/a> is available on Amazon.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
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*************
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Help your child come up with something nice to do for their person every day. I remember when two of my boys were struggling in their relationship, I worked with them to stop and think how they could make each other\u2019s day. Some days it looked like us sneaking into their room and secretly making their bed. Other times we would be at the grocery store and I\u2019d ask one of them for their brother\u2019s favorite snack. \u201cLet\u2019s make their day!\u201d I\u2019d say. 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I remember when two of my boys were struggling in their relationship, I worked with them to stop and think how they could make each other\u2019s day. Some days it looked like us sneaking into their room and secretly making their bed. Other times we would be at the grocery store and I\u2019d ask one of them for their brother\u2019s favorite snack. \u201cLet\u2019s make their day!\u201d I\u2019d say. 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