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Family, Parenting and Religion

2019-09-24T16:12:05-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Why Your Male Co-Worker May Be Annoyed at You

Last updated on: September 24, 2019 at 4:12 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I just got out of a big meeting where one of my male co-workers got super annoyed with me and I don’t know why. We’re trying to land a big contract and he was presenting his strategy to the group and our boss. A couple of times, I politely asked why he came to a particular decision, so he could explain it. I felt like everyone would benefit from the clarification. But the last time I asked why... Read more

2019-09-26T11:47:39-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Do We Have to Put Our Conflicts To Bed Before Lights Out?

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 11:47 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I’m about to pull my very tired hair out. My wife and I know we shouldn’t go to bed angry, but our arguments only get worse the later they go. I love my wife, but I truly can’t think straight after 11pm. Last night, I got so angry I said some hurtful things I shouldn’t have said. I told my wife I needed some time to process but my wife kept insisting we couldn’t go to bed mad.... Read more

marriage

communication

expectations

2019-09-26T11:45:26-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Hard Truths are Still True: Taking Care of Yourself Shows You Care for Your Marriage

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 11:45 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I can hardly write this, I’m so upset by one of your columns. You shared that it was important for a woman to “take care of herself” for her husband, and that it was “the effort that mattered” not the results. First of all, this is a dangerous throwback to 1950’s America where the little woman was supposed to greet the conquering hero at the door in a skirt and high heels. The notion that a woman should have to do that makes me sick. But more important, I am deeply skeptical of your contention that the effort is what matters to men. Any man who says he wants his wife to take care of herself, is really saying that he wants the Sports Illustrated supermodel and if she doesn’t meet that standard, it’s time to trade her in for a newer model. I cannot believe that someone with your experience and education would be so susceptible to misogynistic propaganda. How can you possibly defend what these men are saying? Read more

2015-06-15T08:52:23-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Beyond the Candlelight: Finding Romance In Unusual Places

Last updated on: June 15, 2015 at 8:52 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I wish my husband were more romantic. I love spending time with him—we work out together and go to the movies, you know, normal couple stuff—but some of my best friends have husbands who plan candlelit dinners or whisk them off on romantic getaways a lot. My best friend’s boyfriend just surprised her with a picnic on the Commons downtown over the weekend. And my husband? He asked me if I wanted to go hit golf balls. Sometimes I’m like: seriously? Golf balls?! What happened to the candlelight dinners, you know? Read more

2019-09-26T11:42:02-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Gain Respect By Being Direct

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 11:42 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, How do I get my wife to not play games, and just share what she’s thinking? Two days ago, we dropped off our youngest child at college, so my wife and I planned two days of empty-nester sightseeing on the way back. Yesterday was fine, but this morning, my wife seemed down, but she wouldn’t tell me why. It drives me nuts when she does that. I asked about four times, and finally she told me she was... Read more

2015-06-15T08:32:08-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The Process of Processing: Give Your Man Some Space

Last updated on: June 15, 2015 at 8:32 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I feel like my husband is a total avoider. When we get into an argument, all he wants to do is ignore the situation and escape to the TV room. He doesn’t care that we need to talk it through. What can I do to get him to talk to me? Read more

2015-06-15T13:59:17-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Lust at First Glance? The Difference in Seeing vs. Gawking

Last updated on: June 15, 2015 at 1:59 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I read in your book that even happily married men struggle with looking at other women and even have images from the past pop-up in their minds. Does this mean that it’s OK for men to lust after women because they are wired this way? – Perplexed Dear Perplexed, No doubt about it, men notice attractive women. But let me clarify up front, there is a huge difference between a man who notices an attractive woman, and the... Read more

2015-06-12T09:23:59-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Being the Bigger Person in “The Little Things”: Showing Your Wife that You Care

Last updated on: June 12, 2015 at 9:23 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I work long hours at a power plant, and my wife often sends me text messages or calls me about little issues happening that day. Like, a minor problem she’s having at the house. Or that our daughter skinned her knee at preschool. Or something came up with a dinner she’s planning. Usually, I can’t do much about it right then, which I know is frustrating to her. But that means she grabs me when I walk through... Read more

2019-09-26T11:17:10-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Let’s Get Physical: Health Body, Healthy Marriage

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 11:17 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I am definitely not the size I was when I married my husband. But honestly, 4 kids and 25 years later, I don’t see it ever happening. The problem is that I recently overheard my brother saying something about how happy he was, now that his wife was getting in shape. It irritated the stew out of me… but it also got me thinking. How important do you think it is to my husband that I’m not in... Read more

2019-09-26T10:42:45-04:00

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Rip Up Your Laundry List: No Husband Wants a Scorekeeper

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 10:42 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I love my wife, but I really hate her “things you do wrong” list. I pull away to avoid it, but the more I pull away, the more tempted I am to check out of the relationship. During normal times, things are fine. But whenever we argue about something, out comes the list of the things she thinks I do wrong and she does right. I know that keeping score is dangerous and wrong, and I don’t want... Read more

marriage

communication

women

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