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The Dating Recession: Why 70% of Singles Aren’t Dating

The Dating Recession: Why 70% of Singles Aren’t Dating

Last updated on: October 21, 2026 at 1:51 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

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The Dating Recession: Why 70% of Singles Aren’t Dating 2026-10-21T13:51:42-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Researchers are calling it a “dating recession” (which is also the name of the report). And this matches what we’re hearing from young adults in our research. | Image courtesy of Adobe Stock.

If you’re single and dating feels unusually hard right now, you’re not imagining it.

A fascinating report from the Institute for Family Studies looked at roughly 4,500 single young adults who had never been married but hoped to marry someday. And one finding really jumped out at me: among singles ages 22 to 35 who wanted to marry and weren’t already in a committed relationship, only about 30% were actually dating.

Researchers are calling it a “dating recession” (which is also the name of the report). And this matches what we’re hearing from young adults in our research. Many of them say they would love to meet someone, but they’re discouraged, unsure how to navigate today’s dating world, and thus all too often are simply sitting on the sidelines.

But here’s the part I found encouraging—and it turns the current cynicism about young people and marriage on its head: the desire for marriage hasn’t disappeared.

In the study, 83% of women and 74% of men said they wanted a dating culture focused on serious relationships that head toward marriage. In other words, roughly 80% of both men and women were looking for deep emotional connection, not just casual hookups.

What great news!

But here’s the real question: why aren’t they finding each other?

As we mention in our recent podcast about this (see below), one reason is simple, and will resonate with many of the singles reading this: people aren’t satisfied with their dating options.

That’s the “dating recession” at work. When people put themselves out there but find few matches or no one they genuinely want to pursue, discouragement sets in. Eventually, they may stop putting themselves out there, even though they still deeply want a relationship and marriage. It becomes a self-reinforcing cycle.

Another reason (according to the study) is a lack of confidence in basic dating skills.

That may not be surprising. Most Gen Z-ers and young millennials grew up with a huge percentage of social interactions being mediated through texting, apps, and social media rather than face-to-face. And many of the skills required for dating simply weren’t learned in middle school, the way they were for earlier generations. Thus, in the study, only about one-third of singles felt confident in their dating skills. That lack of confidence can make it easier to hold back rather than put yourself out there.

There are no easy answers here, but there are some hopeful ones. My husband Jeff and I recently talked through the dating recession in a podcast episode called Where Have All The Good Dating Partners Gone?. We talk through why so many singles may be sitting on the sidelines, and some practical ways we can help make dating feel a little less daunting. We dig into what’s behind the dating recession, some of the surprising skills many young adults say they don’t feel confident about, and, most importantly, what singles (and those who love them!) can actually do about it.

You can hear us go much deeper into these and other reasons behind the dating recession, as well as what might help, in our full conversation below:

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