Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
General Christian
Family, Parenting and Religion
6 Ways to Talk about Gender Differences (Part 1)

6 Ways to Talk about Gender Differences (Part 1)

Last updated on: September 4, 2025 at 5:00 am by Shaunti Feldhahn

0 Comments

6 Ways to Talk about Gender Differences (Part 1) 2025-09-03T16:20:27-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

1. Get a sense for where the person is coming from.

Remember that who you are talking to is just as important as the content of the conversation. It could be, as you sit in the bleachers at your kids’ practice, that the fellow sports-parent who raises this topic just learned that one of their children wants to transition. It could be that your colleague is happily gay and annoyed by people who assume he also wrestles with gender identity. It could be that the woman who brings this up in your new bible study left an abusive husband and is very sensitive to the church standing against misogyny and the damaging idea that gender differences are an excuse for bad behavior (“boys will be boys”).

Before we open our mouths and share our opinion with someone, it defuses a lot of defensiveness and creates a much better space for listening and conversation, when we first get a sense for them. For example, we could do one or more of these helpful things:

Get curious: “Everyone is in a different place on this. I’m curious what you*”*
Acknowledge the emotions and the climate: “I know there are lot of different emotions and beliefs around this topic today, and we may have different opinions about it.”
Empathize: “I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced that discrimination as a woman in business; that’s just so wrong.”
Find common ground: “I know we both care about fairness and respect for everyone.”
Agree where we can: “Yes, everyone is an individual, and culture shapes us a lot.”
Avoid creating false either/or distinctions (such as “it’s all biology” or “it’s all culture”) and instead reply with something like, “For sure, differences come from both nature and nurture.”

Where we have strong beliefs (including those formed by our understanding of science and scripture), we must have equally strong love and compassion for those we are speaking with. Everyone has a story, and we don’t know what is going on behind the scenes in their heart and in their home.

A compassionate and curious approach creates some room for the next points.

Go back Continue Reading

General Christian

Relationships and Religion

Previous Post

August 14, 2025

What Your Husband Is Really Thinking When He Wants Sex

Next Post

September 5, 2025 6 Ways to Talk about Gender Differences (Part 2)

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"I really appreciated the emphasis on approaching these conversations with empathy and curiosity rather than ..."

lorena rrossi

6 Ways to Talk about Gender ..."

"Of course - per Old Testament precedent - God himself, or Jehovah per se... is ..."

chris sonofpear1

How to Deal with Difficult People ..."

"Security patrols deter crime, ensure safety, and provide rapid response. Learn how they protect your ..."

bagherzadehmj

How to Find True Rest – ..."

"I'm gonna be quite honest...I work 3 jobs to make ends meet for my family, ..."

Gene

Why Doesn’t my Wife Feel Secure?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Christmas church current events dissent Editor's Choice family gifts growth humor kindness marriage men money news other parenting personal personal sex singleness teenagers Uncategorized women work

Select a Month September 2025 August 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which queen visited Solomon to test his wisdom?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Queen Esther Queen Jezebel Queen Vashti Queen of Sheba

Books by This Author Books by Shaunti Feldhahn

See All Titles »