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Why Doesn’t my Wife Feel Secure?

Why Doesn’t my Wife Feel Secure?

Last updated on: February 6, 2025 at 5:00 am by Shaunti Feldhahn

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Why Doesn’t my Wife Feel Secure? 2025-02-05T14:33:43-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Step #4: Keep pursuing her

While dating, you hyper focused your attention on the girl of your dreams. You bought flowers, went out to dinner and even had late-night conversations about something you may not have ever talked about before—your feelings.

Then when you walked down the aisle, you won. You got the girl. You “closed the deal.”

Before you move on to the next thing (getting the promotion, finishing your master’s, or becoming a guy who can fix anything), you have to remember the deal with your wife is never closed. Not for her, anyway. For most women, there’s no magic, one-time moment of closure when she will feel permanently loved.

You may think, “But I already showed her I love her!” And she may know in her head that you love her. But deep in her heart she has the nagging “Am I loveable?” question every day. So, she is looking for the answer every day.

Here’s the good news. Your gestures of pursuit don’t have to be big-deal, high-dollar events. It is highly likely that your wife will feel reassured, loved, and pursued if you simply:

Put your arm around her in church or at the movies.

Send her a text like “You’re a great mom.”

Hold her hand in public.

Make time with her a priority.

Tell her that she’s beautiful to you. (90% of women said that would make their day!)

Ask your wife if those would help—and if so, do them! That is what will make her feel so secure in your love that you’ll hear those “do you love me?” questions a lot less often.

Guys, if you found today’s blog helpful, pick up a copy of For Men Only and ask her if the research findings are true about her. She’ll feel so loved!

And while you’re at it, grab a copy of For Women Only for her for Valentine’s Day. No matter how long you’ve been married, you’ll discover fresh insights about each other that may help your marriage for years to come.

Improve your relationships with simple, actionable steps backed by proven research! Visit
SurprisingHope.com to learn about our courses.

Do you want Shaunti to share these life-changing truths at your church or event? Send
us a speaking inquiry request today!

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