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What Forgiveness Can Teach Us About Creating a Thriving Life

Last updated on: January 23, 2024 at 6:00 am   by Shaunti Feldhahn

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What Forgiveness Can Teach Us About Creating a Thriving Life 2024-01-22T17:06:56-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Why is forgiveness a superpower?

In this life we are 100% sure to be hurt by others. And without forgiveness, we are also 100% sure to be in a regular state of bitterness and anger. Research finds this is extremely damaging. In fact, some researchers are pushing for regular bitterness to be labeled an official medical disorder.

Forgiveness is the only action that can set us free and allow us to live a thriving life instead. Think about it: Even a subconscious decision to “just let it go” and not get furious at the driver who cut us off on the highway is a form of forgiveness.

The mindset and action of forgiveness in ongoing relationships is essential for building strong bonds, deeper intimacy, and relational depth. Our choice to forgive in a difficult situation is a true superpower for every area of life.

Now, let me explicitly state that forgiving someone who has continually or acutely betrayed or abused you is not the same thing as continuing to trust them.

Forgiveness does not require an ongoing relationship. And forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to somehow ignore your legitimate hurt or anger; indeed, processing those feelings is vital. But true forgiveness will set you free in your mind and heart even if you must create boundaries, step away from that relationship, or pursue consequences for someone’s actions.

So there is straightforward self-interest in choosing to forgive (and we’ll come back to that in a moment). But that is not the only reason to do it.

 

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