Let’s Bring Kindness Back! Here’s How To Start

Last updated on: January 25, 2022 at 2:53 am by Shaunti Feldhahn

Let’s Bring Kindness Back! Here’s How To Start 2022-01-25T02:53:20-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Step #1: We must realize . . . we’re not as kind as we think we are!

Our research for The Kindness Challenge found that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem. (And believe it or not, that is only a slight exaggeration! We found that if you want a better marriage: be kind. Better leadership at work? Be kind. Be a better parent? Have a better sex life? More fun with your in-laws? Be kind.)

The problem is: we already think we ARE kind!

Yet the moment any of us start the kindness initiative we researched a few years ago (the 30-Day Kindness Challenge), we soon realize: “Oh wowwww. I’m not as kind as I thought I was!” We suddenly realize that every day we exhibit so much unkindness without realizing it—for example, maybe we have the habit of pointing out the flaws in the way something was done, rather than calling out positive and praiseworthy things. Maybe we have made sarcasm such a habit that we simply don’t realize those we love are withering under our witty banter. Maybe we don’t even notice that we roll our eyes at our kids’ “drama.” (Oy. Even as I write this, I’m cringing at how often my own kids have seen that look.)

Thankfully, our research uncovered three daily actions that are really, really effective at opening our eyes to those things. These three daily actions make up what we call the 30-Day Kindness Challenge and they are absolutely transformative to our relationships—and ourselves.

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30-Day Kindness Challenge

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