Mystery Solved: 3 Things You Never Understood About How Your Wife Thinks

Last updated on: January 31, 2020 at 6:48 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

Mystery Solved: 3 Things You Never Understood About How Your Wife Thinks 2020-01-31T18:48:18-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

#3. You Will Make Her Feel Loved If You Say, “Is This An Open Window? I’m So Sorry. Is There Something That Would Make You Feel Better?”

Guys, the next time you find yourself wanting to say, “Just don’t think about it” or, “Just don’t let it bother you,” stop. Stop, and think to yourself, “This is my chance to make her feel loved.” And instead say, “Is this an open window? I’m so sorry. Is there something that you want to do here, that would make you feel better?”

You are recognizing an open window that will be flashing at her until she takes action. And instead of making her feel a bit silly for wanting to do something that would make her feel better, you now have the opportunity to encourage her to do that if she wants to.

“Would doing something tonight make you feel better?”

“Well . . . yeah. I was thinking I wanted to text Jessica and ask what she thought about that incident, and whether I should send my boss an email tonight. It might be good to get on top of it and ask to speak to him first thing before we start our meetings tomorrow morning.”

“If that would make you feel better about the situation, I think you should totally do it. It’s a good idea.”

As long as you are being sincerely supportive (including offering adjustments if you think her idea needs some tweaking), this simple action on your part is doing something profound: it is sharing her load. It is showing her love and helping her with something that is causing her distress. And it is making her really, really grateful for you.

THAT is why we have so many men come up to us at our events with that bemused, grateful look on their faces. They are completely bemused that a) this is true and b) that it matters so much! And they are grateful that they have a chance to show their wives how much they love them.

Guys, this is such a simple thing. Ask your wife if it matters. And if it does—enjoy.

Looking for encouragement for your life and relationships? Learn about the little things that make a big difference in every relationship, from marriages to parenting. Subscribe to updates from Shaunti here!

Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her latest book, Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms, focuses on discovering biblical direction to become a woman of serenity and delight in all seasons – and have impact for generations to come.

Visit www.shaunti.com for more.

Previous Post

January 23, 2020

Join the Launch Team for my new book!

Next Post

February 4, 2020 Follow This One Simple Rule to Improve Your Relationship

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Christmas church current events dissent Editor's Choice family gifts growth humor kindness marriage men money news other parenting personal personal sex singleness teenagers Uncategorized women work

Select a Month September 2025 August 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book includes "A time to weep and a time to laugh"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Judges Malachi Genesis Ecclesiastes

Books by This Author Books by Shaunti Feldhahn

See All Titles »