Love and Laughter: How Humor Can Ease Relationship Tension

Last updated on: September 26, 2019 at 10:11 am by Shaunti Feldhahn

Love and Laughter: How Humor Can Ease Relationship Tension 2019-09-26T10:11:55-04:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Use inside jokes to make an instant connection (or reconnection) with your spouse

Private jokes create a world that is only inhabited by the two of you. They’re reminders of funny experiences you’ve had together and the history you share. Which is essential not only for staying connected day-to-day but also for reconnecting after an argument.

In fact, our research found that 70% of the most happily married couples have ways of signaling “We’re okay” after conflict — a way of telling their mate that they’re sorry they got mad and they want to make up**.** For some couples it was a certain touch, for others it was a particular look or gesture. But very often it was a reference to a shared inside joke.

Tweet this: 70% of the most happily married couples have ways of signaling they’re okay after conflict.

My favorite was the anonymous, manly-looking man who told me, with an embarrassed grin, that in his marriage, his signal was to come up to his wife and cock his head and meow. (He never shared the backstory behind that one!)

There are as many ways to reconnect as there are couples in this world. But for all of us, humor is one lighthearted way to send a signal that everything’s OK.

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