Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Ask Angus

Home
Pagan
AskAngus17: Coming Out, on the Head of a Pin

AskAngus17: Coming Out, on the Head of a Pin

Last updated on: August 3, 2013 at 5:55 am by Angus McMahan

AskAngus17: Coming Out, on the Head of a Pin 2013-08-02T23:39:24-07:00 Angus McMahan

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Dear Ask Angus,

Concerned Christian: I am not a pagan. I’m a Christian, which is obvious (I wear a cross) but I try not to bring it up unless someone else starts the conversation. I’m fine with pagans, though. In fact, I have a very good friend who is pagan, which is why I’m writing.

I let him use my laptop for a few hours while I was out and when I got it back from him he was still logged into Facebook. I mistakenly read a couple of posts of his (thinking it was TO me), and the gist of the messages was that he had been feeling a bit of stress lately, from spending time around me, because he didn’t want me to know he was pagan, because I was Christian. I assumed he’d known I knew, because his friend who introduced us had told me.

It was clear he doesn’t want me to know that he’s a pagan, and having gone through some similar things with my homosexuality, I feel like I should respect his wishes until he actually tells me. But I also know that his anxiety disorder can get dangerous, as he’s been hospitalized twice. I want to let him know that I have no issue with him being pagan, I think it’s wonderful he has something that means so much to him, that he connects with on a deep level – I also don’t want to disrespect his choice in the matter. How can I tell him I care, and don’t mind his faith, and in fact am happy he has it, without disrespecting his choice to let me know?

Dear ConChris: The ‘coming out’ problem is always difficult, even for the designated coming out to to-er. You two now have this ‘thing’ between you. And it shouldn’t be there. Secrets should be minimized in everyone’s life, no matter what your Spiritual Calling, and secrets between friends are always going to explode one way or another. Tony Robbins has this wonderful bit about “Medium-size pain” and “Big-size pain”. Too often we choose to deal with medium-size pain on a daily basis instead of just dealing with a one-time big-size pain that will relieve all of the medium-size pain forever. So, ConChris, it’s time to be brave. Here’s what you do:

Do your homework. Learn a little about Witchcraft and the basic tenets of Earth-based Spirituality (You might be surprised how much it overlaps what Jesus taught!) You don’t have to go for a degree, but get a handle on Goddess worship, the Wheel of the Year, Moon cycles, The Rule of Three – stuff like that. The biggies.
Take your friend for a walk. Away from everyone – and away from all electronic devices, if possible. Some place in Nature. A beach, or a forest. Pagans love forests.

Like, here. Here is good.
Keep the conversation light.
When you are at a good spot (good scenery and good feeling), just go for it and tell him. And immediately back it up with reassurance: “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I know you are a pagan – and I think its wonderful.”
He’ll be embarrassed and dumb-founded. So you do most of the talking.
Tell him what you’ve learned about the Goddess and God, how the seasons tell a wonderful story about death and rebirth, and how you like to go out and stare at the moon sometimes too. (“Like the moon it shall be established forever, a faithful witness in the skies.” – proverbs 89:37)
He’ll still be analyzing this new-found revelation (and he will be for awhile), but coming out of this conversation in a positive way will go a long way towards his acceptance of your knowledge.
The goal here is to get him to speak about his Faith, not the wall that had existed between you for awhile. Ask him questions – open ended questions – about how he celebrates different holidays, how he prays to his Gods, which of you burns more candles, and so on.
Don’t grill him, this isn’t an oral exam, but by asking him informed questions you are SHOWING him how much you care about his feelings, while simultaneously getting him to open up about his beliefs.

Trust me, ConChris – you need to act on this and get it out in the open. It’s eating you – it’s eating him, and nothing good will come from waiting. Take the one-time big-size pain and get it over with. You both will be SO MUCH HAPPIER.

Drew: How many Angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Dear Drew, Well as I see it, we got two problems here: 1), define this term “Angel”, and 2), what type of pin are we talking about? Hat pins? Needles? The firing pins of guns offer a comparatively large dance floor, but if you are talking about angels and firing pins, well, then we have a whole other set of issues to deal with.

But back to #1: Angels, like Fairies and quarks are notoriously hard to measure. So we will go with the only type of Angel that can be measured accurately: The Anaheim Angels* baseball team. Their players measure from 5’8″ all the way to 6’7″, and from 180 pounds all the way up to 245.

Now to needles and pins. The average hat pin head diameter is about 1/32 of an inch, but Idoubt that even Outfielder Collin Cowgill (5’8″ – 185) could stand on that. So we will go with the only needle that could conceivably support a baseball team: The Space Needle in Seattle.

The widest part of the roof, above the observation deck and rotating restaurant is named, no kidding, the “halo” sowe’re on the right track. It is 138ft. across, and even with the squat, pointy thing sticking up in the middle it is conceivable that 18 of the Anaheim Angels could play a game up there.

Granted the field slopes away a bit from the center and chasing after a foul ball could result in a terminal plunge of about 50 stories, but it IS possible to play.

Getting all those boys to dance though is patently impossible.

Oh. The whole thing is a metaphor. Got it.

Sorry. Um, I don’t know.

~AskAngus

The Space Needle – in HEAVEN!

Angus McMahan

@AngusMcMahan

Send your questions to: angusmcmahan @gmail.com

*Yes, I am aware of what their legal name is. And it’s ridiculous.

(Photo Credits: kristinemcguire.com, afropunk.com, kthomas629, Author, cellinifinegifts.com, angels.mlb.com, universetoday.com)

Previous Post

July 30, 2013

Somewhere, over Lughanasadh (Way up High....)

Next Post

August 9, 2013 AskAngus18: Stone walls do not a prison make

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2020 December 2019 February 2019 January 2019 September 2018 July 2018 April 2018 February 2018 October 2017 July 2017 March 2017 February 2017 April 2016 July 2015 March 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

David Solomon Moses Paul