When You’re Married to an ADDICT

Last updated on: October 4, 2016 at 1:23 pm by Ashley Willis

When You’re Married to an ADDICT 2016-10-04T13:23:28-04:00 Ashley Willis

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Overcoming an addiction and staying sober is a difficult task. And, it is hard on a marriage. In fact, I frequently receive messages from many husbands and wives who are facing an addiction, doing their best to stay sober, or trying to support a spouse in overcoming an addiction. It’s a long, hard road, but there is hope for recovery. Here’s one couple’s inspiring story…

One of my friends from church recently shared a Facebook post that touched my heart, and I think it will move you as well–especially those of you who are dealing with addiction. Here’s what she had to say:

“I still remember the very first time Eric told me he was in recovery – it scared me to death. We had only been dating for a few weeks when he casually mentioned he was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I’ll never forget thinking,

“Dang, I really liked you! This messes everything up.”

I just wasn’t prepared to go down “that” road again.

He had no idea (at the time) that I had dated someone when I was 19 who battled addiction. He also had no idea that it was by far one of the hardest things I had ever been through and that I had promised myself I would never, ever go down that road again. I got off the phone that night feeling very confused and hurt – why in the world did God introduce me to another man who battled addiction? I thought I had done everything right this time – I even met him at church!
This confusion led to some time apart, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that Eric Kennedy was different – he was bigger than this disease and more importantly, he had already won the battle because of his relationship with our Lord and Savior.
He brought me to my first AA meeting a few months after we started dating. What a humbling experience. I met his sponsor and I met the men and women who had loved him through some of the hardest times of his life. I listened to the testimonies and I ate the good food. We even had cake to celebrate their “birthdays”. It was nothing like they show on TV. There were people there who were mothers and fathers, teachers and doctors. They were people just like you and me – just like the man who I had fallen in love with.
Eric made the decision several years ago to not be “anonymous”. He chooses to share his testimony with anyone who will listen. As a result, I have been lucky enough to witness him love and guide so many people over the past 3 years. He answers phone calls in the middle of the night and he wakes up super early to have breakfast with people because they’re finally ready to talk. He encourages people and tells complete strangers that he’s proud of them. He reminds them how much Jesus loves them and how much he loves them too. Witnessing Eric lead people to Jesus through his testimony over the last 3 years is by far one of the best things I’ve ever experienced.
God’s plan was way better than mine. Addiction is no longer scary to me like it was 10 years ago. It’s a terrible disease that affects a lot of people, but thanks to our loving Father, there is hope. I am so proud to be married to a man who shares this hope and leads people to Jesus through his testimony.
Eric is celebrating 6 years of sobriety today. 6 years! It seems like we celebrated his 3rd birthday just yesterday. I still carry his 3 year sobriety chip in my wallet – it serves as a daily reminder of the hope and grace we can only find in God’s love.
I am so proud of you Eric! You are my biggest blessing and I love you so, so much. Happy 6th birthday, babe!”

Wow! What a testimony. I get goosebumps and tear up every time I read it. God is so good.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/3-reasons-to-rethink-your-nightly-glass-of-wine/

Friend, if you or your spouse are currently battling an addiction, please know that you are not alone and there is hope. God loves you, and He still has an amazing plan for your life. Do what it takes to get help and get clean. Fight the addiction for yourself AND for your marriage and family. Don’t let it win. You are an overcomer (Romans 8:37). God’s got this, but you must surrender to Him. Don’t try to fight this alone. Your willpower alone can’t win the fight, but You, God, and your support system can.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/5-things-to-do-when-youre-in-a-for-worse-season-of-marriage/

For the spouse who is trying to help their addicted partner to get clean, please don’t give up on them. They need you in their corner. Find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to attend, check out Celebrate Recovery, seek counseling, go to a rehabilitation center, and do whatever it takes to get help. Be willing to celebrate even the smallest of victories together. I know this isn’t easy for you, but they have a better chance of recovering with your support and guidance. Please don’t lose hope.

If you’d like to connect with Kristen and Eric, please be sure to check out their addiction support group called, TIME for Recovery. You can also contact Eric and Kristen on Facebook. Be blessed!

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