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Ashley Willis

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Family, Parenting and Religion
5 LESSONS We Can Learn from CELEBRITY DIVORCES

5 LESSONS We Can Learn from CELEBRITY DIVORCES

Last updated on: July 9, 2015 at 3:03 pm by Ashley Willis

5 LESSONS We Can Learn from CELEBRITY DIVORCES 2015-07-09T15:03:24-04:00 Ashley Willis

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Why is it that so many celebrity marriages seem to end in divorce? Just recently, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck told the media that they have decided to divorce after being married for ten years. As I read this news, many of the writers commended the couple on lasting so long, alluding to how most celebrity marriages don’t even come close to the ten-year milestone. That’s sad…but tragically, it’s true.

Although there are certainly some flourishing celebrity marriages out there, there are, unfortunately, a large number that end in divorce. The details of their failed relationships are often front page entertainment news, and many of us, me included, read ALL ABOUT IT.

Anyone who has experienced divorce will tell you that it is an extremely difficult, gut-wrenching, life-altering situation, to say the least. So, I can’t imagine what these celebrities must feel when the details of their personal lives (or the ones the media decide to share) are out for everyone to see and evaluate. This certainly doesn’t help their relationship, and even more, I hate it for their children. It’s honestly none of our business, and we certainly never get the WHOLE story anyway…yet, we see headlines plastered on the cover of all the entertainment magazines. And, sometimes, we read it…cover to cover…line by line.

With all the negativity involved with these celebrity divorces, I think there is something we can learn from them that will help us to improve our own marriages…celebrity or not. Here they are:

1. None of us are immune to temptation.

Many of these celebrity couples who experience divorce are away for months at a time filming big blockbuster movies involving juicy love scenes with another actor who isn’t their spouse. Those in the entertainment industry will tell us that this isn’t a problem, because they are PROFESSIONALS who are JUST ACTING. I’m sure they go into the job confident that nothing will happen, but I think history tells us that this is much easier said than done. How many times have we heard about celebrity marriages ending due to an on-screen-turned-off-screen romance?

When a person is in bed with someone – and usually a very attractive someone – of the opposite sex, barely wearing any clothes, touching, kissing…you name it…human instincts are bound to kick in. Our bodies are wired to be sexual, so we can’t “act” sexual and not “feel” sexual in the process. When we play with fire, we will get burned. We can’t seek out temptation. The Bible tells us to flee temptation. If we don’t, we will end up doing something we’ll regret, and one moment of frailty might just cost us our family.

2. We can’t be self-focused and expect our marriages to thrive.

The very nature of the entertainment industry is self-promotion. I’m not trying to point fingers at all here…it just IS what it is. If you want to get famous and stay famous, then you have to keep promoting yourself. This isn’t ALL bad, because sometimes, celebrities will use their fame to also bring awareness and help to those less fortunate.

Fame becomes an issue when it consumes us.

If we are constantly, singularly focused on ourselves; MY career, how I look, MY friends, MY agenda, ME, ME, ME…then we are so big-headed – so consumed with ourselves – then there is no space in our minds and hearts for anyone or anything else. Our life becomes a stage staring one actor and one storyline – ourselves. And, when both the husband and wife operate this way…they get used to functioning like two, SEPARATE, lonely stages.

A marriage can’t survive when we are focused on ourselves. A marriage will thrive when both partners pursue God first, serve one another second, take care of the children third, and then be mindful of our own needs. We shouldn’t neglect ourselves, but we shouldn’t be OBSESSED with ourselves.

3. We need to prioritize our marriage ahead of our work.

This is a hard one, because our work is our livelihood. I often read stories about celebrities who regret taking certain roles because it took them away from their families for extended periods of time. Those celebrities knew the movie or show involved aspects that they felt uncomfortable with or reflected negatively on their reputations and families; yet, they agreed to it anyway. It can be tough to navigate our careers sometimes. However, we need to remember what is most important in our lives and make our decisions accordingly.

Our work can’t truly love us back. We haven’t committed to love and serve our work until the day we die. Work is important, but it is not nearly as important as our marriage. Sometimes, this means rearranging our schedules, accepting a new job, or turning down an opportunity that seems great on the surface but not so great for your family in reality. Whenever we place our families before our work when making decisions, we are strengthening both our marital and familial bonds.

4. Marriage is hard work…no matter how beautiful, famous, or successful you are.

We all do it. We compare our looks, life, and even marriages to those we see on television, Facebook, or other media outlets. It’s hard not to, but it doesn’t do us any good.

No marriage is perfect, and the pictures of seemingly perfect celebrity relationships are only featuring photoshopped highlight reels of their celebrity lives. We must focus on fostering a strong marriage within our OWN homes, and stop trying to be something like the unreal pics we see online, shows we watch, or stories we read. God gave us an amazing mate – an imperfect person who happens to be a perfect match for our imperfect selves.

If we spent more time praying for our spouse, serving him/her, communicating with our partner, and having fun together than we did comparing our lives to the unreal lives of those we don’t even know, our marriages would benefit greatly. Marriage takes effort, but it completely worth it. We must put in the time, thought, and work to cultivate and keep a rock-solid marriage.

5. We need to pray for the marriages of those in the spotlight.

As a society, people are increasingly losing hope in the institution of marriage. Some are forgoing it all together. I think our society is lacking effective role models for marriage. There are countless amazing marriages in the world today, but we rarely hear about them. Moreover, those in the spotlight tend to have a much harder time staying married. This is a concern not only for their families, but also for our culture – one that is hyper-focused on entertainment and social media.

We need to pray for not only our marriage to grow stronger but for God to strengthen the real-life marriages we see on our screens. Let’s pray that God blesses their families and turns their hearts toward Him. Pray that our children see good examples of marriage in us, our community, AND in media. We must teach them and SHOW them that marriage is a beautiful blessing from God, and not only that….we can actually LOVE being married!

When marriages are strong, families are strong. Strong families yield a strong society. I pray that God blesses each and every one of your marriages as well as the marriages of those in the spotlight. Be blessed.

For more information on how you can cultivate a stronger marriage, please check out our latest book, “The Marriage Minute”, and it is currently at a bargain price! Also, please share this post with your friends. Thank you!

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