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Ashley Willis

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Family, Parenting and Religion
What Tragedy Can Teach Us

What Tragedy Can Teach Us

Last updated on: April 23, 2015 at 11:39 am by Ashley Willis

What Tragedy Can Teach Us 2015-04-23T11:39:17-04:00 Ashley Willis

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We all have a story and a struggle, and each of us will experience a life full of highs and lows…twists and turns. Life as we know it can be so amazingly grand, and then it can suddenly take a tragic detour that turns everything upside down leaving us scared, confused, and desperate for hope. Sometimes, I can’t help but ask God why he allows so many tragedies to occur, but the longer I live, the more I see that He uses tragedy to teach us some powerful truths that can only be learned by walking through these painful experiences.

In the past year, my heart has broken for so many of my friends who have experienced some of life’s greatest tragedies. A few months ago, my friend’s thirty-seven year old brother had a heart attack and passed away suddenly while mowing his lawn. His wife, children, family and friends are still in shock and mourning this great loss. Recently, one of my girlfriends was diagnosed with cancer after a routine Pap smear. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy at the young age of thirty-three. Thankfully, she is now cancer-free, but she still has to have routine check-ups every six months for several years just to make sure the cancer doesn’t return. None of us expects to get a sobering diagnosis or a phone call that our loved one has passed away, but it can happen to any of us.

No story or struggle has affected me more than this one…

Although I haven’t seen my childhood friend, Katie Anne, in years or even met her husband and two beautiful girls, I can’t help but think about their family every single day. You see, two weeks after she gave birth to her second baby girl, Katie Anne, received the absolutely devastating news that her two year-old daughter, Bennett, had an aggressive form of brain cancer. In an instant, their lives were turned upside down, and they had to face one of the most difficult and heart-wrenching journeys that any parent can experience. They moved their whole lives to the children’s hospital and began treatments immediately. Playdates, family time at the pool, bubble baths, lunch out with friends, and weekly date nights came to a screeching halt. Life had to be drastically different for the foreseeable future; they had to fight, with every fiber of their being, for their daughter’s precious life.

When I first received the news via a CaringBridge post on Facebook, I felt sick to my stomach. So many questions flooded my mind like…”Oh my goodness, what is going to happen to this little girl?”…”What if this happened to our family?”…”How are Katie Anne (the mother) and Billy (the father) going to get through all of this…and with a newborn?”…”Why do these awful things happen, especially to precious, innocent children?”. There was a part of me that didn’t want to read about the details in the post, but I decided to anyway. I have continued to read every single post, and this family is in my prayers every day.

Katie Anne shares her heart and soul in each post. She talks about the good things, like extended time together and special gestures from friends, and the horrific things, like watching her daughter lose her beautiful hair and the terrible fits that Bennett would throw because of all the needles, surgeries, and vomiting. Every post I read brings me to tears. I admire her willingness to be so raw with her feelings and emotions, but the thing that moves me the very most is Katie Anne’s amazingly strong faith in God. It’s not a flowery, sing-song kind of faith without grit; it is rock solid, honest, and assured. She firmly believes in the power of prayer and that God was and is in control…even in the worst of circumstances.

Katie Anne’s most recent post brought me to my knees in sadness, and I can only imagine how she must have felt hearing the news. She shared that after multiple rounds of chemotherapy and surgeries, the brain tumors have grown and even multiplied. The doctors offered a variety of next steps, but none were without severe lasting side effects, and the effectiveness was deemed minimal. Katie Anne said she and Billy had been praying that God would make the next steps crystal clear for them, and they took this devastating news as an answer to prayer. It certainly wasn’t the answer they wanted, but it did give them more clarity. They have decided to move back home and enjoy sweet Bennett without continuing any treatments. Katie Anne acknowledged how scared she is and how she doesn’t want to think about the fleeting time they have with Bennett, but she is thankful to experience being a family at home once again.

As I write this, I can’t help but cry. It all seems so unfair. Bennett is only three years old. THREE. YEARS. OLD. Oh, Lord, please help this family! As a mother, I can only imagine how she must feel. After all of this…after all the fits, the needles, the surgeries, the “what ifs”, the “this might work” responses, the endless vomiting, the scans, the reevaluations, the weight loss, the sunken eyes, the loss of spunk, the time away, the tears, the fears, the anger, the close calls, the sleepless nights, the mounting medical bills, and all the things that come with this ugly, hideous cancer….what is left? It’s so disappointing. It’s messy. There is no explanation…no answer…nothing I can say to make it better.

There is one thing, however, that cancer can’t take away from this family. That one thing is LOVE. Love never gives up. Love never fails. Love remains.

God is the very embodiment of love. He is still there with them. He hasn’t left Bennett. He loves her, and He certainly loves this family.

So, in the midst of all this heartache and gut-wrenching news, what is it that tragedy can really teach us?

1**. God promises that something good will rise from the ashes of our pain.**

When processing these horrendous situations, I can’t help but cling to Romans 8:28,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I don’t believe God causes little girls to get cancer, but I do know that he promises to use ALL things for good. He will not waste our tears, disappointments, losses, and struggles. He will use them for good.

2. We can be strong in all circumstances, with God’s help.

After reading all of Katie Anne’s posts, I have seen one of my favorite verses lived out over and over again:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

They are the very definition of “strong and courageous” while being so close to losing their precious daughter. I have seen them hold on to the promise, that God will never leave us or forsake us, with all of their might. I have a deeper understanding of this verse because of this family and their willingness to share their heart-wrenching journey. I am challenged by their strong faith amidst a nightmare.

3. We need each other.

When we get news that a friend is facing a devastating circumstance of any kind, let’s not look away. Let’s allow ourselves to share in their burden. Galatians 6:2 says,

2″Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

At the very end of her post today, Katie Anne so graciously thanked all the people who have been praying for them and asked them for their continued prayers. She also stated that Bennett loved seeing the 3,000 Christmas cards they received for Christmas. She appreciated the love that was shown, and she said it raised their spirits. That is what we are called to do as those engaging in another’s difficult journey. We help to carry the burden in whatever way we can. We CAN’T explain their difficult situation or lift the pain, but we CAN pray for them, bring them a meal, watch their children, offer to clean their house, or offer to help with their medical bills. We can be a blessing in a time of great need.

4. Life is too short and unpredictable to sweat the small stuff.

When I think about all the hardship that Katie Anne and her family have been through, it reminds me how ridiculous and insignificant my daily gripes really are. It has caused me to hug my kids a little tighter, to not get so bent out of shape when they break something, and to view every “Mommy, sit by me” or “Mommy, look at this” as the most beautiful soundtrack in my life right now. Their story has opened my eyes to the needs of families facing childhood cancer and how we can help. More than anything, Bennett’s story has reminded me that each day is a precious gift to be treasured and lived out to the fullest.

Tragedy can certainly touch us and teach us, if we allow it to.

It is my hope and prayer that Bennett and her family enjoy this special time at home. I pray it is filled with memories and blessings of all kinds. I pray they feel enveloped in love and peace, no matter what the future brings.

If you would like to know more about Bennett’s story, please go to Bennett’s CaringBridge Page. Please pray for this sweet family. Thank you!

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