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Andy Gill

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Modernized Love: Finding “The One” Online

Modernized Love: Finding “The One” Online

Last updated on: August 14, 2013 at 6:00 am by Andy Gill

Modernized Love: Finding “The One” Online 2013-08-14T06:00:52-05:00 Andy Gill

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eHarmony — Okcupid — match — Christianmingle — SuperUberDesperate.com-The.List.Goes.On…

We’ve all seen the commercials, talked about it with friends, gotten spammed by the Facebook ads, or possibly even joined ourselves.

Online dating.

Known to some as their “last ditch effort,” others how they met their wife or husband, and currently to many just a convenient way to date, hook up, and/or meet someone nice.

I found it hard to believe match.com’s statistic of 1 in every 5 existing relationships started from online dating, but the more I hear and read about online dating, it seems that their statistic is not too far fetched. I’d say more that 1 out of 5 of my friends is currently on a dating site or married/seriously dating someone because of “said” dating site.

Our entire way of living, relating, and communicating has completely changed since Al Gore’s crazy amazing invention came to be (the internet, duh). With emails, instant messaging, google hangout’s, snap chat, and whatever else there is, our communication will never be the same again.

Which begs us to question whether or not the internets inundation of information has caused us as a culture to focus on too many things at one time, leaving us with too little time to focus on only one thing.

Meaning, in consequence, we’ve embraced this shallow, superficial, individualistic culture.

How does this relate to dating? Well — quite frankly — dating is dead, formal dating that is, or at least it seems.

It’s now, “group dating.” Which is a guy or gal, letting a guy or gal know that they are invited to hang out with a group of people, without really letting said guy or gal know their interested. So I’d say it’s not really dating at all.

I mean why subject oneself to the awkwardness of actually picking up the phone and calling her, asking her out face to face when you see her, or risking the awkwardness of silence while together, just the two of you, for dinner. Anna Goldfarb a 34 year old blogger, was quoted by the NY Times expressing her frustration with 30 something men, stating:

“I’ve seen men put more effort into finding a movie to watch on Netflix Instant than composing a coherent message to ask a woman out. A typical, annoying query is the last-minute: ‘Is anything fun going on tonight?” More annoying still are the men who simply ping, ‘Hey’ or ’sup.’”

“What does he think I’m doing? I’m going to my friend’s house to drink cheap white wine and watch episodes of ‘Dance Moms’ on demand.”

But I’m not going to hate.

Dating is tough.

Been there, still doing that.

From asking the girl out, planning the date, wondering if she knows this is a date, or thinks this is just a friend thing, to figuring out who’s paying…

Unless you’re that one in a million type of person who is totally content with being single and dying single, you’re probably a lot like me, who can entirely relate to the words of Anne Lamott, a single 59 year old author who recently gave online dating a go, says:

“What I missed was checking in all day with my person, daydreaming about him [her], and watching TV together at night. There, I’ve said it: I wanted someone to text all day, and watch TV with.”

Nothings wrong with this picture, this desire, to be and connect with someone else on an intimately personal level. I personally believe, we’re created to live and simply be together, to have, feel, and share the depths of ourselves with others. So please fight against, this shallow, superficial, individualistic culture that has come to be.

Ladies, gentlemen, dare to be vulnerable and dig deep for that courage to risk the rejection and take a leap outside of what has sadly become our cultural norm. Fill out that online dating questionnaire, build your profile, and/or ask _______ (fill in blank) out! #yolo

As my grandmother has infamously spoke, “Life is tough, in fact, it’s so tough that one should not choose to do it alone.”

This post sponsored by eHarmon… no just kidding. I wish though.

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