“It’s Okay To Let Someone Go…”

Last updated on: February 20, 2016 at 12:04 pm by Guest Contributor

“It’s Okay To Let Someone Go…” 2016-02-20T12:04:07-05:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Photo credit to labirdiephotography.com

A friend once told me I say the phrase “it’s ok” a lot. As a person who communicates for a living, I can’t say I’m proud that “it’s ok” is my catchphrase of sorts, but it fits so perfectly, and describes so eloquently how to handle big changes in your life.

Just when you think life will always be one way, it changes abruptly, without welcome.

There are stories in my past that I’ve often said are not mine to share, but their impact on me has been palpable. It was two years ago when my phone rang and I had to, for the first time, grapple with accepting the truth that it’s OK to let someone go. After being friends for well over a decade, I had to close one of my favorite books and file it on the highest shelf to begin collecting dust and never be read again. I had said things, he had said things, our actions had deeply hurt the other and it only made sense to let go. After two years of constantly wrestling with the “what ifs?” the only words I’ve found hope or consolation in were “it’s ok to let someone go”.

Nothing is as difficult as watching someone you love hurt because of you.

As far as I know I’ve only made three guys cry: my first boyfriend, my Dad, and my most recent dear friend. For years I’ve been holding on to hope that the damage that we caused each other, the hurt that inflicted on each other, the broken, painful, disastrous memories would somehow fade away and we could live beyond the John Mayer song Friends, Lovers or Nothing. Unfortunately, band-aids don’t cause healing, and sometimes ripping them off hurts more than the actual wound.

No matter how much it hurts now, it only hurts more the longer you hold on to the fingers already slipping from the weight of falling apart.

Somewhere out there roaming the great state of Minnesota are two phenomenal people who were the construction team behind so much of who I am; My sense of humor, my bitter cynicism, my passionate love of good guitar tone, my understanding of puns, and my confidence that I am someone worthy of being desired.

Since the day I closed each of these precious, beloved books I’ve found myself wishing I could just say one more thing. Find a way to better convey my appreciation, my love, my overwhelming gratitude, but with communication closed it’s a little impossible. If I could say anything, I would say:

Each day I miss you. Each day I see something that reminds me of you. Each day I wish I could say I’m sorry for not letting you go sooner, for not letting us heal and grow.

Being a creature of habit and comfort causes me to hold onto broken things too long. Heck, there is a damaged pair of $4.99 scissors sitting next to me right now that I’ve had for seven years and am determined to fix. Unfortunately, I do to relationships what I am doing to these scissors: I’m not letting them go when it’s their time.

I’m learning now that sometimes you have to burn down the forest to make room for new trees.

These friendships marred by hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and an inability to confront the issues at hand have to be removed in order to let new growth in. Even though it hurts right now, the pain burns, the loneliness aches unexpectedly, and everything is a reminder of what once was, when that first little green leaf emerges from the destruction, it promises that healing is on its way. There’s a whole new book, a whole new forest just waiting for you to allow its creation.

Here’s the truth: Letting people go is never easy, but God is God of restoration and healing. He loves a good redemption and rebuilding story. Don’t be afraid. It’s ok to let someone go. Just know that there is something great just waiting to grow, for both of you.

Guest Post

Relationships

andy gill

It's Okay To Let Someone Go

Laura Livingood

Letting Go

Previous Post

December 13, 2013

"Jesus was white..."

Next Post

December 14, 2013 Christian Girl Problems

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Books Buzzfeed Christian Church Church Culture Dating Dechurched eXvangelical Guest Post Humor Inspirational Justice LGBTQ Life Marriage Media Millennials Mini Post Monday Money Podcast Politics Race Reason Relationships Science Sex Socioeconomic Theology Theology Uncategorized Video Wednesday Youth Ministry

Select a Month June 2020 March 2020 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 January 2013 December 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "Surely this man was the Son of God!" at Jesus' crucifixion?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Peter Judas A Roman centurion Pilate

Support this
Column