Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

altmuslim

Home
Muslim
On the Courage to be Vulnerable and the Test of Community Care

On the Courage to be Vulnerable and the Test of Community Care

Last updated on: June 13, 2018 at 6:41 pm by Guest Contributor

On the Courage to be Vulnerable and the Test of Community Care 2018-06-13T18:41:03-04:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons

This is Day 29 of the 2018 #30Days30Writers Ramadan series.

What does community care look like for us during a time when our communities are being tried with loss, injustice, separation from families and communities? How are we showing up and caring for one another in the Prophetic tradition of mercy, compassion, love and firmness?

O you who covers himself [with a garment], Arise and warn [74:1-2]

This Ramadan, I am reflecting on the recent deaths of Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, the French man in Mecca and Luis Castaneda, as well as non-suicide losses of the year. We often pray we make it to Ramadan, to the last 10 nights, and in this privilege, I cannot help but think about those who have not survived: The daughters, the parents, the siblings and the unborn children we lost along the way as we reach the end this blessed month.

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return [2:155-156]

I think of those who are barely surviving. Those who may not feel the fruits and blessings of Ramadan and community in the way it is often so lovingly spoken about. The alienation and sense of belonging not always gifted to new Muslims, Muslims who identify alongside the LGBTQ community, survivors of assault, mothers managing post-partum depression, or those wrongfully accused and unable to pay for bondage out of prison.

Believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever

I think about a professor I had in college, who saw my grades dip and had the courage to ask how I was doing. Who did not let me leave her office until I called the counseling center at my university. I think about my sister and her friends spending their first Ramadan as adults, some alone, some newly married, all the adjustment both situations bring. I think about women and children seeking refuge in the margins of the Chicagoland community — working multiple jobs and navigating systems in a new country.

I think about South Asian and Latino men, who are not Muslim, who face bigotry and harassment for looking a certain way. I think about Sudanese cab drivers wondering about their livelihood with the advent of Lyft and Uber. And, I think about a powerful statement by Mahdia Lynn, founder of Masjid Al-Rabia — that the truth of Islam is too great to deny anyone**.**

Our religious tradition honors inclusion, difference and the unique strengths of everyone who chooses to accept Allah (swt) and Muhammed (saw) as His messenger. How and when did we become so harsh with one another that we are unable to hold each other when we fall, that we cannot see and spend time with each other when we are hurt and struggling?

We have created you male and female, and appointed you races and tribes, that you may know one another. Surely the noblest among you in the sight of God is the most God-fearing of you. God is All-knowing, All-aware [49:13]

Ramadan forces me to slow down. The magnification of what my life is like sacrificing, submitting and remaining God-conscious in the way that I can for a month speaks to one of the most challenging parts of Ramadan for me — making choices about my time, my commitments to myself and others and my willingness to create and be in community.

And so, as I learn about the nuances of our community and the struggles I have not seen, heard or experienced because of my privilege, I am taken aback. My ability to stay hopeful for the ummah wavers as I consider the ways in which I have been ignorant and complicit in making others feel unwelcome, undesired or less than because of the way they practice, dress or behave.

This ignorance is reminiscent of one of the origin stories in our faith — Satan’s refusal to bow to Adam. We are told the refusal of the jinn, Iblis, to prostrate to Prophet Adam was because Iblis believed he was better than Adam — stating “I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.” [38:76] Allah (swt) banishes Iblis from heaven after this, suggesting the story of original sin is not of Adam and Hawa’s forgetfulness but of Satan’s arrogance — a sense of being “better than.”

Legal scholars at Karamah suggest this is our tradition’s first instance of power/control, domination/oppression.

And so, this Ramadan, I am reflecting on our collective responsibility to each other to manage this arrogance. To care for each other, support each other and facilitate each other’s healing, instead of engaging in religious policing, shaming and alienating. I pray we are able to for each other, to remember stories in our tradition, which highlight a non-judgmental turning towards the humanity of other as well as the scholarship, empowerment and elevated status of Muslim women, such as the story of slander of Aisha (RA) and the prostitute granted Jannah for showing kindness to a dog.

I pray you will join me in financially supporting the organizations and activists behind the scenes at Muslim Anti-Racism Coalition, Believers Bail Out, RAHMA, Karamah, HEART Women & Girls, Muslim Wellness Foundation and Masjid Al-Rabia. They teach me that spiritual elevation does not come from sitting in the minbar, but by working alongside those who do (and do not) visit the mosque.

They model how to examine who is the in the room and why; who is not in the room and why not. I know, through their example, what I must do more to be inclusive of my brothers and sisters in Islam and humanity, regardless if they look, speak, act differently or have other experiences as me. And, I realize, like Adam and Hawa, that I will make mistakes and must ask for forgiveness.

But I also think about the fear inherent in investigating the ugliest parts of myself, of putting language to toxic and joyful experiences, and the acceptance that I have so much more to learn. My experiences in therapy (both as a clinician and client) have demonstrated to me the difficulty and courage required to be willing to be vulnerable and to talk openly about individual and collective “not knowing.”

Unpacking the shame in not knowing, in asking for help to understand, in doing the work to connect and create community, in talking about my feelings and existential questions related to pain, heartbreak, loneliness, achievement and purpose is humanizing and necessary to live a meaningful and worthy life. As I try to embrace the softness of my own humanity and what others might consider naivety that the world can be better, I also try to find hope that in disclosing the more intimate, vulnerable sides of me I might find healing.

Collectively, I wonder how as believers of justice, compassion and mercy, how we can BE BETTER — softer, as well as more accountable, to one another? I wonder what we each need to learn about ourselves and how we want to behave to create equitable and inclusive Muslim communities. By cultivating empathy, in working together, in sitting in stillness and silence, I hope we are able to work through interpersonal and — particularly in a time of heightened threats of Islamophobia, xenophobia and homophobia.

I’ve been able to explore these reflections because of the leaders in the organizations mentioned above. I continue to navigate these reflections interpersonally within my graduate school community and my family. And, I share this with you in hopes you will join me in examining what it means to care for ourselves and our communities. I believe the values of mercy, compassion, forgiveness, standing for justice and honoring the rights of others are at the core of our faith tradition.

We have a responsibility toward each other, the Earth, and the Earth’s non-human inhabitants. Will you join me in embracing not knowing, not assuming, in coming from a place of non-judgmental curiosity, in smiling, in saying salaam, and extending a conversation to your neighbor in salah this evening?

30 Days 30 Writers

30 Days 30 Writers (2018)

About Alia Azmat

Alia Azmat is currently studying to be a counseling psychologist at Purdue University. She investigates definitions of womanhood, objectification theory, spiritually-integrated therapy, and stigma reduction. Clinically, she is interested in identity development, grief and loss, college adjustment, and distorted eating. In addition to her research and clinical work, she is a Trainer and Manager of Research Initiatives for HEART Women and Girls. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

June 12, 2018

#MyRamadanIs - Facilitating Safe Spaces to Share Ramadan Feelings & Struggles

Next Post

June 14, 2018 My Ramadan Truth - Dismantling the Armor of Suicide and Depression

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 2012 Elections 30 Dayd 30 Writers (2017) 30 Days 30 Writers 30 Days 30 Writers (2015) 30 Days 30 Writers (2016) 30 Days 30 Writers (2018) 30 Days 30 Writers 2017 Ali Asadullah Ali Eteraz Alper Bilgili Arthur Richards Asides Asma Uddin Black History Month Briefings Charles Turner Commentary Cyrus McGoldrick Eman H Aly Fatimah Popal Hajj Hajj and Dhul Hijjah Hesham Hassaballa Hisham Hellyer Ibrahim Abusharif Inas Younis Irfan Yusuf Jalal Baig Junaid Afeef Laila Alawa Laila Alwala Mas'ood Cajee Muqtedar Khan Nakia Jackson Newsmakers Parvez Ahmed Podcasts Rabia Chaudry Rafia Zakaria Ramadan Reviews Safiyyah Ally Saud Inam Shahed Amanullah Svend White The Opinionated Oncologist Visions Wajahat Ali Zahed Amanullah Zahir Janmohamed Zainab Khan

Select a Month November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What happened to the golden calf?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Set up for worship Taken to Canaan Burned, ground to powder Hidden