Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

altmuslim

Home
Muslim
Parenting in the Age of New Media – Advice for (Muslim) Parents

Parenting in the Age of New Media – Advice for (Muslim) Parents

Last updated on: June 20, 2013 at 9:27 pm by Guest Contributor

Parenting in the Age of New Media – Advice for (Muslim) Parents 2013-06-20T21:27:30-04:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Photo courtesy of www.csmonitor.com

By Maher Budeir

We often hear the phrases, “When I was your age…” or “The youth these days are different” or “It is all because of access to video games and other bad stuff on Facebook,” when we hear our elders speaking of the younger generation. But, is it really so?

Is the current generation really worse off?

Are the media and technology advancements we are witnessing ruining the chances of this generation becoming responsible enough to carry the torch of the American Muslims?

Will they be able to advance the positive impact of Islam in our communities?

Or do we have a case of a lag in parenting and failing to keep up with the changes in media, technology and society?

Are parents being too lazy to manage the change and, instead they blame the media for their inability to adapt and actively adjust their style of parenting?

The Impact of the Media

There is no question that media impacts human thinking, feeling and even behavior. However, this impact can be negative or positive. It is a double-edged sword,and how we use this “tool” can greatly determine the outcome.

For example, one can say using Facebook is a huge waste of time. One can spend hours and hours and accomplish so little and risk being exposed to harmful information. At the same time, one who connects to the right people using the same tool and seeks information that can help and enhance oneself professionally, socially and spiritually can argue that advancement in media has tremendous benefits. In that case, this same tool becomes a positive window for self improvement and development, for better connectivity, for accessing knowledge that simply was not possible 15 years ago.

The Current Times

Is this a generational issue?

Is it just one element of the evolution of our social and technological development?

Is it a “sign of the times?”

Or is it just that change in technology is happening at a much faster pace than we, especially parents, are able to adjust to?

Simply Bad Parenting?

If we take this further, one can argue that while the tools are evolving and technology is changing, parenting has not caught up.

Traditional parenting is still highly regarded in most circles, and people are still impressed when a parent recounts how he or she kept things under control, with no Internet in the house till high school, or that he did not allow his middle-schooler to access a smart phone. In fact, one can say that what that parent is doing is taking the easy way out –pretending we are still in the 1980s — and that we only need to do what our parents did without having to learn to manage the current conditions.

The fact is, new conditions require learning new skills and different approaches and that is hard work because it takes studying, research and consulting. It is much more difficult than simply doing what we watched our parents do.

So How Do I Managed Media with My Kids?

There is no simple answer.

This depends on the ages of the kids, how many and how far apart they are in age, technological literacy of both parents, the home environment, and the level of interaction with their friends, neighbors, and other kids in the community.

With the absence of one set of rules that works for everyone, some general guidelines are in order:

Manage your life by design

Be deliberate when you use media. Have a purpose and a goal and then find the best medium to learn or connect. Teach your family to do the same thing. We should not watch television just because we have nothing else to do. When we decide to use media, there has to be a specific goal. It is not the default activity.

Set up your media hardware for success

Television should not be in the center of the family room, featured as the thing to do once you walk in. At the same time, designate one or two spaces in the house that are accessible and within view to place the main desktop and even little tables in the same room to use laptops. Set up expectations that laptops stay in these spaces, to make sure parents can easily view what younger family members are watching, not to spy on them, but to take the opportunity to interact with them and teach them about the proper ways to use this technology. Make these spaces comfortable and fun, so kids are encouraged to use them in view of the parents. These spaces can be in the living room, “homework room,” family office space, den or even the breakfast room.

Keep an eye on the clock

Before we engage in using media, it is good to predetermine how much time we are going to allow ourselves to do this activity. Let’s plan our time and make sure we do not indulge to the point that the content of the media overcomes our hearts and occupies a huge portion of our time, mind, heart or spirit.

Know your kids‘ media

Check out the content and the rating of what the kids are watching or playing. Take some time and play with them and share the activities. Use the media to become their friend. When you see something out of line, explain the consequences and the risk of engaging in media with negative content.

Teach kids conflict resolution

At a very early age, when kids are watching cartoons, explain to them the right way to manage conflict, to deal with problems and disagreements. Talk to your 3-year-old about not using their hands when they disagree with someone. Teach them proper language and proper techniques to deal with emotions. It is much easier to teach these techniques at an earlier age.

We are living in a time when an incredible store of resources, information and tools is available at our fingertips to access, connect, create and innovate. Finding the right way to manage all that so it works in our favor is essential for our own progress and learning.

This article was originally published at Muslim Matters.

Previous Post

June 18, 2013

Nine Lessons for New Converts/Reverts to Islam

Next Post

June 27, 2013 Calling Spades Across the Divide in the Comedy of Errors - The Saga of Umar Lee and the Islamists

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 2012 Elections 30 Dayd 30 Writers (2017) 30 Days 30 Writers 30 Days 30 Writers (2015) 30 Days 30 Writers (2016) 30 Days 30 Writers (2018) 30 Days 30 Writers 2017 Ali Asadullah Ali Eteraz Alper Bilgili Arthur Richards Asides Asma Uddin Black History Month Briefings Charles Turner Commentary Cyrus McGoldrick Eman H Aly Fatimah Popal Hajj Hajj and Dhul Hijjah Hesham Hassaballa Hisham Hellyer Ibrahim Abusharif Inas Younis Irfan Yusuf Jalal Baig Junaid Afeef Laila Alawa Laila Alwala Mas'ood Cajee Muqtedar Khan Nakia Jackson Newsmakers Parvez Ahmed Podcasts Rabia Chaudry Rafia Zakaria Ramadan Reviews Safiyyah Ally Saud Inam Shahed Amanullah Svend White The Opinionated Oncologist Visions Wajahat Ali Zahed Amanullah Zahir Janmohamed Zainab Khan

Select a Month November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does James say someone who doubts is like?

Select your answer to see how you score.

A wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind A sheep without a shepherd A house built on sand A leaf falling from a tree