Removing Myself from Hostility; Taking Responsibility

Last updated on: September 17, 2024 at 9:26 am by Julie Nichols

Removing Myself from Hostility; Taking Responsibility 2024-09-17T09:26:11-05:00 Julie Nichols

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We undoubtedly are living in a politically-hostile world, not just here in the United States, but abroad. From the humanitarian crisis in Gaza, to the Russian threats towards Ukraine, and our own divisions domestically here in the US, various emotions and various levels of emotions are impacting most of us to one degree or another.

At this stage of my Parkinson’s journey, I must still be empathetic and care about vulnerable people, but I must do it with the absence of hostility, hatred, fear, and anger in my surrounding environment. This means existing only in places where peace predominantly prevails. People are at many different places regarding their understandings of various social issues. Most of us are trying to simply live day-to-day, serve, work, and be kind. These normal behaviors cannot flourish or coexist with hostility, hatred, fear, and anger. Working from home starting with COVID gave me the ability to separate these traits of normalcy and chaos. This however doesn’t give people excuses to allow systems of injustice to remain.

Most of you know my journey to understand some social issues were late in development, primarily related to LGBTQ+ issues and reproductive healthcare. Although I take responsibility for not working through these issues sooner, I’ve learned that changing from within requires intentional theological, cultural, and political shifts because these two issues have sadly been weaponized for political gain for decades, mainly to uphold patriarchal and traditional structures at all costs through any unethical means possible. Although I have made efforts to make amends for not understanding sooner and acting from past places of ignorance, I realize that too many LGBTQ+ people, their families, and women have suffered from those trying to remove their civil rights to uphold patriarchal and traditional structures. The conservative church, certain segments of the Republican party, culturally conservative areas of the country, parts of the military, and other places where gender binary roles and patriarchal expectations still prevail collectively have played the largest role.

Thankfully, I’ve now met others who left the conservative church and certain segments of the Republican party and/or those who come from culturally conservative areas of the country and the military who are making efforts to learn, become more empathetic in the areas I mentioned, make amends, and grow. I honor and respect our military and am very thankful for those who have served to protect us, but I also know that the military was very slow in allowing LGBTQ+ people to exist, particularly in those in uniform. Just as LGBTQ+ people, their families, and women affected by abortion restriction need safe spaces, so do those who left their past conservative environments or those who are learning but still remain in those environments. I have chosen to plant myself in an affirming Methodist community locally but also remain in the progressive end of the Catholic Church for several reasons. Starting my new ministry in LGBTQ+ family reconciliation with my husband and others is both exciting and healing. Certain individuals are safer there than any place in secular society. It’s good to see the opposite where it has been more dangerous in the church than on the outside.

Last week was one of the most difficult weeks for me. Although I will not divulge the details, I now realize that trying to reunite with those past harmed may not be in their best interest or mine. I can offer love, amends, consolation, and care, but I cannot blame the other party for where they are in their own journey. Dealing with pain for decades takes its toll on a person. It can create long-standing resentment, anger, and even hatred. However, I ultimately can take responsibility for what I do and join with groups who are offering care and reparations.

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