A Joint Reconciling and Affirming Home

Last updated on: August 27, 2024 at 7:57 am by Julie Nichols

A Joint Reconciling and Affirming Home 2024-08-27T07:57:53-05:00 Julie Nichols

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I’m trying to return to my writing, but I will say, it hasn’t been easy. The combination of professionally expanding my Educational Therapy practice, reconciling my own family to each other, and spiritually surviving the struggles of the Church at-large have been a series of growing pains which are finally bearing fruit. This past weekend was a real turning point for me. I experienced an event which made me realize, reconciling nuclear and extended biological family is of the greatest importance to my husband and me, and we will do whatever it takes no matter how difficult, but this may not be possible for other families which breaks my heart. I believe our deep faith roots of nuclear and extended family are why reconciliation is possible because forgiveness is at the heart (should be) of the Christian faith itself. The great need for reconciliation ministry is very common within most Christian families of LGBTQ+ children, particularly within red states/the South. LGBTQ+ marginalization is rooted both in religion and even moreso within political culture. We place ZERO conditions on reconciliation. It’s simply a matter of unconditional love in action.

Finding affirming and reconciling ministries for LGBTQ+ people and their families and other historically-marginalized groups greatly depends on whether or not someone lives in a red or blue state. Yes, political divides greatly determine whether or not someone has access to reconciliation ministries. If you are not familiar with reconciling ministries, they are progressive ministry movements which seek to reconcile historically marginalized populations and minorities with family (biological and/or chosen) back to the Church or even to secular non-profits if the church is not safe enough. These minority groups include but are not limited to: racial minorities, disabled people, LGBTQ+ people, and anyone who has been hurt and marginalized by the Church for one reason or another. I give these variations of family and church reconciliations because reconciling some people to the Church is too much of an unbridgeable chasm due to former moral injury. I have learned this the hard way by watching anti-LGBTQ+ laws force people out of their home states and even out of the country and what I have experienced within my own family. Sadly, the toxic mix of the Church and state have directly caused this political violence towards LGBTQ+ people and their families. The reality of my husband’s and my struggle and journey to return to a place of spiritual belonging have been a bumpy ride at the very least. In the Northeast and California (ie blue states), Catholic reconciling ministries are booming and thriving. In San Antonio, we have the Methodist reconciling and affirming ministry at Travis Park Methodist Church in downtown San Antonio who works with so many urban ministries and secular non-profit charities. We plan to keep attending the Catholic Church to help other Catholic families like ours, but our church family will be through Travis Park because it is truly reconciling and fully-affirming.

In short, my husband and I have been personally required to get creative in finding a spiritual home because we are essentially spiritually homeless here in Texas in the Catholic Church and in most Texas churches of most kinds. The surge of Christian Nationalism makes it even more challenging, even in some affirming faith communities. With our current political climate, we as parents and allies cannot be openly LGBTQ+ affirming of our kids and other families like ours while also being fully active in the local Catholic Church. We must help Catholic families in secret although the Catholic clergy know what we are doing. 🙂 No family should become spiritually homeless when their child comes out LGBTQ+ or for any other reason because essentially, it places the family in various forms of danger if they feel forced to leave any spiritual home. No family should have to choose between their child’s right-to-life or stay in the Church. If it weren’t for a dear Catholic nun whom I dearly love, my dear husband, a brother named Dr. Clarence White, Travis Park Methodist Church Reconciling Methodist Ministries, and a dear Christian gay male couple from Travis Park, I wouldn’t be able to spiritually remain in organized religion at all, especially in Texas. I thank God for His provisions to carry forward.

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