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New Survey Shakes Middle Earth

New Survey Shakes Middle Earth

Last updated on: January 12, 2022 at 8:29 am by Matthew Distefano

New Survey Shakes Middle Earth 2022-01-12T08:29:17-06:00 Matthew Distefano

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Rivendell, EASTERN ERIADOR – A recent survey conducted by a coalition between the elves of Rivendell, dwarves of Erebor, and men of Gondor, shows that a growing number of Middle Earth residents do not see Mordor as a threat. The survey concludes that as recently as this month, 31% of Middle Earthers believe that the hype surrounding Sauron has been overblown, while a striking 11% don’t believe Sauron even exists.

This is shocking, given that the Necromancer of Dol Guldur rose to power around TA 1000, and has been growing in status ever since.

“I just don’t buy it,” said Erenduil, a resident of Rivendell. “Show me some evidence that Sauron is as bad as they say he is. Where is it? I’ve never been to Mordor, but my cousin Alanduil has. And he says there is nothing going on there. This seems like nothing more than a government trying to steal the rights given to us by Iluvatar.”

When we tried to catch up with Alanduil, he was unavailable for comment. However, his neighbor Threnduin had this to say. “Yeah, I know Alanduil. He went to Mordor once. Said all he saw was a tower with a weird light on top and an active volcano nearby. No Sauron though!”

The conspiracy theories are not contained within Rivendell, however. All throughout the Hornburg, “Make Rohan Great Again” flags can be seen flying about, and in the Shire, “Let’s Go Bingo!” stickers have been seen on carts, wagons, and even on the bars inside the Green Dragon. And sadly, during one incident in Mirkwood, 3 elves were fatally wounded after pro-Thranduil demonstrators escalated tensions just outside his beech tree.

More to follow, as this is an ever-evolving story coming out of Middle Earth.

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About Matthew J. Distefano

Matthew J. Distefano is an author, blogger, podcaster, and social worker. He lives in Northern California with his wife and daughter You can read more about the author here.

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