Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Religion News
Cussing Is Neither Good or Bad

Cussing Is Neither Good or Bad

Last updated on: July 20, 2021 at 7:58 am by Matthew Distefano

Cussing Is Neither Good or Bad 2021-07-20T07:58:25-06:00 Matthew Distefano

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I cohost a podcast called Heretic Happy Hour. The running gag is that we claim to be the only podcast with a hotline. We know this isn’t true. We just like to say it.

Over the course of the past month or so, we’ve received over 60 critical voicemails from one obsessed listener. I’m sure by the time I publish this entry, there will be closer to 70. This listener’s beef with us? It comes down to two main things: Sexuality and cussing. I’m not going to get into the sexuality part in this blog, but I am going to briefly talk about cussing.

During a few of the most recent voicemails, our pal Pal went on and on about how we are going to tell children it is not only okay to cuss but that they should cuss as much as possible. Why he said this I’m not sure.

But here’s the deal.

None of us tell our children to cuss. In fact – I’ll just speak for myself here and not the other 3 cohosts – but because I cuss openly and don’t make a big deal about it, my daughter doesn’t really use expletives. That’s right! By not making it a big deal, it doesn’t become a big deal.

If a cuss word slips out from time to time, then a cuss word slips out from time to time. Again, it’s not a big deal.

When it becomes a big deal is when people try to get their children NOT to cuss. In working tirelessly to get their children to use “pure speech,” as my friend Pal puts it, guess what tends to happen? They start cussing like pirates behind their parents’ backs. That was me. I was told I couldn’t cuss. So, what did I do? I made sure to cuss a f***ton when my parents weren’t around.

If we want to put this all in Christianese, what tends to happen when we tell our children they CAN’T cuss, is that our “law” becomes the stumbling block Paul warns about. That’s just how human psychology works. We often desire that which we can’t have. In the case of the child who can’t cuss, they want to cuss simply because we’ve made it so taboo.

Now, of course there are limits to this. There is nuance. Instead of telling my daughter “thou shalt not cuss,” I explain to her when, where, and how it is appropriate and inappropriate. I tell her that school officials don’t like cussing at school, so don’t become a distraction for them. I tell her that some parents don’t like cussing and don’t want their kids to hear it, so be respectful and try not to become a problem for them. And guess what!? My daughter hasn’t made it a problem.

Kids are smart, my friends. If you reason with them and put things in age-appropriate terms, they’ll likely get it. If you, however, exert your power over them and tell them what they can or can’t do, then chances are everything is going to backfire for you.

So, Pal (and all those who are 100% against cussing), please consider this. If you don’t want children to cuss, don’t make it so taboo. And please, stop treating words like magical incantations. Words, in and of themselves, aren’t dirty or clean. They aren’t good or evil. They are simply pointers. I can cuss and say the most loving thing in the world. When my best friend and I hang out, I cuss often. I tell him he’s a beautiful m*****f*****. He appreciates that. On the flipside, some of the most malicious and spiteful people I’ve ever met never cuss at all. But they sure will twist the proverbial knife in your back like Brutus did to Julius Caesar, smiling the whole time.

At least consider this.

Peace out. Until next time.

If you wanna get to know me better, please follow me on social media. I’m pretty active on all platforms:

Also, if you’ve been digging my work on here, and want to see me be able to continue writing as close to full-time as humanly possible, please take a look at my Patreon page at www.patreon.com/mjdistefano. Even $1 a month helps bigly!!!

About Matthew Distefano

Matthew is a best-selling author, blogger, podcaster, long-time social worker, and hip-hop artist. He is an outspoken advocate for nonviolence, happily married, with one daughter. Outside of writing, his interests include gardening, hiking, and European football. He lives in Northern California You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

July 13, 2021

My Top 10 Memes

Next Post

July 20, 2021 Your Theology is Meaningless If . . .

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atonement Book Review Early Church Eschatology eternal torment Hell Hermeneutics LGBTQ+ Mimetic Theory Mysticism News Old Testament Podcast Poetry Politics Prayer Religion Sacrifice Satire Soteriology Theology Uncategorized Violence

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 June 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 June 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What Christian group traditionally worships in silence?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Anglicans Jehovah’s Witnesses Baptists Quakers

Books by This Author Books by All Set Free

See All Titles »