Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Alicia T. Crosby

Home
Progressive Christian
Your Life Is Yours To Live

Your Life Is Yours To Live

Last updated on: December 8, 2016 at 10:20 am by Alicia T. Crosby

Your Life Is Yours To Live 2016-12-08T10:20:33-04:00 Alicia T. Crosby

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

“I didn’t raise you to…”

“If you had just listened to me…”

“Why can’t you just…”

We, the adult offspring of well meaning people, have heard these words time and time again. Given the time of year, many of us are about to hear some iteration of them in the coming weeks and will be talked at by our parents, grandparents, or other beloved elders who disagree with our hair, attire, expressed ideologies, relationship status, career choice, course of study, claimed identities, or general state of being because it doesn’t suit their liking.

Many of us will sit there and work to not (blatantly) roll our eyes as we internally stew over the irritation and/or pain that comes with being dressed down and being told that who we are is not enough.

That eyeroll suppression is the realest

We will go down mental checklists of all the things these beloved family members have no clue about in our worlds as we fight against the impulse to scream.

We will have internal dialogues and daydreams featuring all the shit we wish we could say but that our respective cultures and rearing disallow us from saying.

You don’t have to vocalize it cause Birdman said it for you

Regardless what you are able to articulate during these sit downs, know that this life is yours to live.

I think we need to be reminded of this so I’ll say it again.

Your life is yours to live.

Furthermore, you are not required to serve as a canvas on which others can project their desires. It’s unfair for people to live out their dreams through you or who, even in adulthood, push their ideals off onto you (especially when they’ve had lifetimes of their own to have done this with/in).

I’m reminded of this when I speak to dear friends whose families try to force them into relational spaces they’ve articulated they aren’t ready for like marriage because somebody’s mama wants to plan a wedding.

I’m reminded of this when I talk to folks who are struggling with career choices because they’re afraid of the communal backlash that will likely come if they pursue their interests instead of what their families deem to be respectable or successful.

Hell, I’m reminded of this every time I have a conversation with my own family and things I needed to navigate on my journey are framed as failures instead of as experiences that I found truth or lessons in.

I digress.

This life is yours to live, so live it.

There is a way to honor the people who invested in you and who love you while still casting off the ill-fitting garments of expectations that don’t align with your values.

It’s ok to have your dreams, your style, your experiences and embrace your unapologetic you-ness.
Your elders have made their choices and are living lives tempered by the decisions that they made – whether that be through exercising their own sense of agency or out of obligation.

Life is fleeting and your days can either be spent getting in line with someone else’s vision for you or through creating a masterpiece of your own design.

I think you owe it to yourself to try your hand at your own artistry.

I always hear Rih Rih in my head when anyone says “live your life” so you’re welcome

Previous Post

December 4, 2016

Mercy To Give

Next Post

December 31, 2016 My 2016 in Review

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Devotions Faith Justice & Activism Musings My Thoughts Poetry Prayers Spirituality The Blog Things That Struck a Chord Uncategorized

Select a Month August 2020 June 2020 October 2019 July 2019 June 2019 March 2019 January 2019 June 2018 May 2018 March 2018 February 2018 October 2017 September 2017 July 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 October 2016 September 2016 June 2016 May 2016 March 2016 February 2016 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which New Testament city was known for worshipping Artemis?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Ephesus Athens Rome Corinth