Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Cordial Catholic

Home
Catholic
Five Tips to Meaningful Engagement with Non-Believers

Five Tips to Meaningful Engagement with Non-Believers

Last updated on: May 9, 2019 at 7:04 am by K. Albert Little

Five Tips to Meaningful Engagement with Non-Believers 2019-05-09T07:04:27-04:00 K. Albert Little

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I was recently blessed to have a conversation with Dr. Randal Rauser on my podcast.

Dr. Rauser, an evangelical theologian, philosopher, and apologist, is someone who I’ve admired from afar for his ability to effortlessly unpack and examine how we do evangelization. It was a pleasure to have a chance to talk to him and the insights he provided in our hour-long interview—no surprise here—were absolutely invaluable.

If you haven’t listened to the podcast please be sure to check it out. But, of our purposes here, I want to summarize some of the great information Dr. Rauser shared.

Here are five tips to more meaningfully engage with non-believers.

Make Relationships Matter

Dr. Rauser is unequivocal that relationships matter. In fact, says Dr. Rauser, we are made for relationships. That’s simply how God designed us; and this is how we need to interact and engage with non-believers.

We need to, first, build meaningful relationships with people for the sake of relationships before we even begin to share the Gospel message with them. These relationships, importantly, can’t be formed with the goal of “winning souls” or trying to persuade people of our point-of-view; we should be making and keeping friends, engaging with our coworkers and neighbours, because we’re Christians, and that’s what God designed us for.

Putting a priority on relationships means we’re caring more about people, about their needs and wants and goals and aspirations, full stop. While their immortal soul and their spiritual health is of the utmost importance it can’t be the focus of why we’re engaging in relationships with other people.

We are meant to love other people as an end in itself, not just a means to evangelize.

Listen First

As we engage with those in our social circles Dr. Rauser also emphasizes that we need to be listeners first.

Elbowing our way into a conversation, talking over others to get our opinions out there, and trying to evangelize and proselytize without first listening can not only damage a relationship but it can turn somebody off from the Christian message indefinitely. Before jumping in with both feet to share our passionate love for Christ with others we need to listen to their needs first.

It’s an incredibly simple concept, but one we so often forget: it isn’t all about us.

By truly and deeply listening we not only work to build up meaningful relationships, built on mutual appreciation and respect, but we learn about one another—we listen and learn better how we can help someone; how we can pray for that person, serve that person, and, ultimately, share Christ to meet their needs.

After all, it’s not one-size-fits-all.

Don’t “Check the Oven” Too Often

In the course of our conversation, Dr. Rauser shared the powerful analogy of a baker checking on their cake in the oven.

If you open the oven too often the cake will never bake; something will go wrong, it won’t turn out. Anyone who eats that cake will find it disgusting and might be turned off cake for a long time.

The same applies to our evangelization.

I can think, shamefully, of several friends I “evangelized” in high school who were effectively turned off of Christianity because I served up a disappointingly half-baked version.

As a zealous new convert I talked non-stop to my rough-around-the-edges punk rock friends about how great Jesus was and how my life was changed. I didn’t know enough, back then, to slow down and approach the subject more prayerfully. Instead, I served up a Jesus that wasn’t fully formed; and could never realistically meet the needs of my friends.

I was young, and stupid, but the point is still the same. In our rush to share our faith we sometimes come across too strong or too soon. We need to “check the oven” a little less. Let things bake; let the Holy Spirit work in the lives of the people we interact with and take opportunities to share the reason for the hope that we have when possible—but don’t keep “checking” to see how it’s working out.

Know Your Audience

Dr. Rauser emphasizes the importance of knowing your audience. This, he says, is why building that relationship up front is so important.

We approach evangelization differently for every single person we encounter; every single person we have a relationship with.

I can speak about Jesus differently with someone I’ve known for 20 years than I would with a person I bump into in the grocery aisle. Our relationships are very differently.

Likewise, I can approach evangelization differently when speaking with a former Catholic (oh, there are plenty!) than I would in speaking to a former charismatic or a Mormon or someone who was raised as an atheist. I can use terminology and examples with a person who has experienced something of the Catholic faith that I would never dream of trying to explain to someone who has no religious belief at all.

It just wouldn’t make sense.

With a prioritization on relationships, we need to approach how we share our faith accordingly, based on how well we know a person and what we know about them.

Be Humble

Finally, Dr. Rauser notes the importance of intellectual humility when engaging with others around issues of faith and belief.

Simply aiming to win an argument will do just that: win an argument. But that’s not the point.

Instead, we want to engage in relationships (for their own sake) and be measured about how we approach faith topics—approach them with the genuine attitude that we don’t know everything.

“If you think there aren’t good arguments against your position,” says Dr. Rauser, “You probably don’t know your position very well.”

There are good arguments for both belief and non-belief; being intellectually humble, realizing that we don’t know everything, makes us much more effective apologists than storming into a conversation ready to prove everyone else wrong.

Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” when something stumps you.

Ultimately, being honest is a more effective evangelization than letting ego get in the way and coming across as if you know everything.

Bonus Tip: Remember, It’s Not About You Anyway

One more bonus tip, just from me.

Remember that it’s God who is working this out at any rate.

As stupid as it sounds, we often forget about God when evangelizing for Him. We forget that it’s the Holy Spirit working through us; that ultimately we can do nothing to move a person’s heart closer to a relationship with Christ.

We can plant the seeds, we can till the soil, we can put, as Dr. Rauser says, a “pebble in the shoe” but it’s God who has to work in that person to move them closer to Him. It’s Him, the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, that we’re entering into a parntership with when we evangelize. It’s that that we have to remember, and not try to rely solely on our own wit and ability.

In these cases—in all of our evangelism—prayer is probably our most powerful tool.

To hear more from Dr. Rauser, check out The Cordial Catholic podcast. Or, listen below.

Previous Post

May 8, 2019

006: How to Dialogue With Non-Believers (w/ Dr. Randal Rauser)

Next Post

May 11, 2019 Towards a Compelling Re-Framing of the Abortion Debate

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Appearances Christian Living Explaining the Faith Podcast Tough Questions Uncategorized Why I'm Catholic

Select a Month January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 October 2017 September 2017 July 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to 2 Peter, by what were the heavens and earth of old destroyed?

Select your answer to see how you score.

God's word alone Water (the flood) Fire Earthquake

Support this
Column