Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

A Happy Medium

Home
New Visions
The Boundary Bubble

The Boundary Bubble

Last updated on: February 6, 2020 at 5:59 pm by Kristy Robinett

The Boundary Bubble 2020-02-06T17:59:34-07:00 Kristy Robinett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It’s so hard to keep boundaries in a 24/7 world. Everyone wants an immediate response, whether a text, email/message, or phone call (although those are rare, right?). I know in the past I’ve complained “they always have their phone in their hand, why aren’t they answering me?”.

Last week my husband, two of our “kids” and their spouses, and I took a quick 4 day adventure to Florida. It was a celebration in many ways, mostly that we survived 2019. Plus, both of the couples hadn’t had a honeymoon due to their military training and we wanted to give them some time away (albeit with their parents tagging along). No laptops allowed. And phones set to emergency calls/texts only. We were going to create boundaries from real life. Or so we tried and

succeeded for the most part – until I started to receive messages with “I know you’re on vacation, but…”

I’ve always been a people pleaser, and add a business to the resume where you’re trained to always be available to your clients/customers. But at what sacrifice? I sat on the bus back to our resort on the first evening and started to cry. I was at the happiest place on earth but I was overwhelmed. If I didn’t answer the person she would hate me, or Yelp me, or tell all her friends I was terrible that I didn’t answer. Or never book an appointment. Or unfriend me. And then I stopped my Alice in Wonderland, down the rabbit hole, thinking and thought how ridiculous I was being. If anyone hated me – they didn’t really know me. It was up to me to put up boundaries. And I did. And she understood.

If someone can’t handle your ‘no’, then they likely aren’t worth your ‘yes’. Empaths are notorious for allowing others to break the bubble of boundaries. Sure we can complain about the boundaries being crossed, but WE have to set them and continue to create reinforcement.

REPEAT AFTER ME:

I don’t have to do what everyone wants me to do.

I don’t have to anticipate everyone’s needs.

I don’t need anyone to approve of me.

I don’t have to explain myself.

I don’t need to feel guilty for having boundaries.

I don’t have to say yes if I want to say no.

I don’t need to feel bad if I want to stay home.

I don’t have to put others before myself.

I don’t need to feel what others feel.

It is not my job to fix everyone (or anyone).

I don’t have to overextend myself.

I am allowed to take time to relax.

I don’t have to be connected to my computer/phone.

I don’t have to immediate answer everyone.

I don’t have to fight everyone to prove I’m right.

I am allowed to speak kind to myself.

I am allowed to peacefully step away from situations.

Those who truly love you will want you to do what’s best for you when it comes to self care. Those who truly love you may not like the boundaries, but they will respect them.

Do you have habits that are draining you, disintegrating your boundaries, and stressing you out? I realized on my break that I needed to make some changes in my life that included closing my laptop and silencing my phone at 6 pm, and not turning it on until 8 am (I receive texts and calls at all hours of the night/morning). I need to take days off and not just say they are days off, but truly NOT work. And I need to stop saying yes when I want to say no. And I need to stop apologizing.

Life is short. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Make your time well spent and treat yourself well. Boundaries aren’t easy, but are needed.

I believe in you.

Kristy

www.kristyrobinett.com

NEWEST ORACLE READING HERE

VISITS FROM THE OTHER SIDE HERE

Previous Post

February 6, 2020

Visits from the Other Side

Next Post

February 9, 2020 February Full Moon Insight

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Client Stories Full Moons motivational New Moon Oracle Paranormal Podcasts Spirit Visits Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2024 June 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 December 2022 June 2022 April 2022 March 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 September 2021 July 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

The night of the Passover what did Israel have to do so their firstborn wouldn't die?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Put blood around the door of their homes Go to Sleep Take a Bath Change Clothes