A Boot Camp of Tears

Last updated on: May 23, 2018 at 6:19 am by Kristy Robinett

A Boot Camp of Tears 2018-05-23T06:19:30-06:00 Kristy Robinett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Yesterday I dropped my son off for boot camp for several months of training (he is going to be a medic). I thought I was prepared. He’s been in college for a couple years and I’d gone through my stages of empty nester. I thought I was prepared but I wasn’t. As I stood in the hallway while he signed his paperwork, tears just didn’t roll down, an ugly cry erupted from my soul and my family just looked at me, helplessly. The hallway buzzed with uniformed military men and women, and one by one they each looked at me and offered a smile of comfort, but it was my son’s superior that came up to us that made me feel validated.

“Cry. Cry all you want,” she said. “Not only am I career military, but I’m an Army mom and when my son left I thought I’d be fine. I wasn’t. I cried. I counted down the days until I could see him. I carried my phone with me everywhere in hopes he would call. I wrote letters and I ran to the mailbox to get his. And I cried. So cry.”

As I laid in my bed yesterday afternoon (yes, afternoon), and cried, I received a message from a mother who’s son had passed away. In the email she told me that I had no right to cry because my son was coming home and hers wasn’t. “Yours isn’t dead so get over yourself,” she wrote. She was right. She was so right. I needed to suck it up, I thought to myself, but my tears still wouldn’t stop. I opened another email from another woman who’d seen her son off to the Navy several years back. Her husband had passed a few years before that and her mom passed last year. “Kristy, people will compare their losses to you, but you have to remind yourself like you teach us that loss can’t be compared. So cry without apology for as long as you need to. Cry.”

Loss is a personal matter. Loss doesn’t always involve a passing either. It can be the loss of a job. The loss of a friendship. It might be divorce, or becoming an empty nester. Loss can sometimes be seen as a celebration such as a birthday, retirement, a promotion, or a house move. Loss isn’t clear cut, but no matter the kind of loss, loss is complicated, emotional, and everyone at one point or another experiences it. It’s the party that nobody wants to be invited to, but everyone gets an invitation at least once in their lifetime.

I see the comparison of loss all the time in my office. The one spouse telling the other they don’t understand what they are going through because they haven’t lost a parent. A friend mad at another friend because they don’t get their deep depression because of the loss of their child. An adult mother angry at her kids when they suggest ‘moving on’ after the loss of her spouse. No matter the loss, loss is loss.

In our instant society, that includes wanting instant grief, loss is often seen as weakness and sometimes an inconvenience. I’ve heard clients suggest all kinds of interesting suggestions to help their loved ones, as if there were a magic potion to make it all go away. There is no instant grief, but there is healing along the road. There is a light at the end, although in the beginning it may seem very dark, the first part of healing through loss is knowing that a light exists even if you don’t see it. And give yourself permission to cry.

Believe,
Kristy Robinett
www.kristyrobinett.com

Previous Post

May 14, 2018

May New Moon Oracle

Next Post

May 29, 2018 Spent Thyme

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Client Stories Full Moons motivational New Moon Oracle Paranormal Podcasts Spirit Visits Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2024 June 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 December 2022 June 2022 April 2022 March 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 September 2021 July 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard teach about God?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Only the first are blessed His grace is generous He loves some more than others He is strict