We All Need Help Sometime

Last updated on: February 16, 2015 at 9:37 am by Kristy Robinett

We All Need Help Sometime 2015-02-16T09:37:12-07:00 Kristy Robinett

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The little girl was about three years old and was screaming in the middle of Target at her mother, who looked to be humiliated. Her face blushed, not from the cold, but from her daughter’s tantrum.

“I can do it myself. I don’t need any help!” the small, but powerhouse girl screamed, whipping her brown hair around with attitude. The girl’s coat was on upside down and inside out and she was having a problem getting it off in order to fix it. Her mom was simply trying to pull it off of her. But after a few seconds of the toddler jumping up and down and struggling, she wiggled out of her coat and encored it with a large smile of ‘see, I told you that I didn’t need any help’.

How many times have you struggled, knowing all along that someone was there to help make it a bit easier for you?

I am strong willed; maybe part of my Scorpio birth sign, or the way that I was raised, or maybe a combination of a lot of things.

I remember as if it was yesterday, yet it was about fifteen years ago, when a person told me he thought I was the strongest person ever. I was in the midst of a horrible divorce, had two toddlers, no money, and refused to ask anyone for help. I had all but cleaned out my pantry of surplus food, and prayed that a job came through and quickly. I remember looking up at that person and replying that I wasn’t strong at all, I was just doing what I needed to do for the kids. It wasn’t strength, it was survival. I look back now without regret, but I wonder if I had asked for assistance if things would’ve been different – good and bad.

Last week we got 17 inches of snow in the matter of one day. My eight-five year old mother-in-law lives over an hour away and I began calling around to see if someone could help her plow her driveway, knowing all too well that she would be out there shoveling. Nobody called me back. Just as we were trying to figure out how we were going to get out there, she called to say that her neighbor shooed her back in the house after seeing her outside trying to dig out. She said she was grateful, but felt bad.

Why is it that we feel so bad accepting help?

The last few months I’ve come to terms that I need help, and that asking for help doesn’t equate to being a drama queen nor does it mean that I am helpless. So often we wait until things are dire before we wave the white flag. We discount those that offer advice or their assistance, either not wanting to bother anyone or not wanting to admit that we aren’t good at everything, or not wanting to admit that we need the help in the first place.

It is said that the waving, splashing, and yelling that television and movies shows with someone drowning is not at all what it looks like in real life. It is sometimes hard to see that someone is actually in distress. So much is said for those in need of emotional help as well. And so often those in need of help don’t want rescuing, they simply want someone to tell them it will be okay and to stand next to them. They don’t want fixing or advice, they want a hug. Everybody gains in the long run when asking for help and when receiving the help. Waving the white flag is not a reflection of character, competency or intelligence, it’s actually the wisest thing you could do and shows how much strength you truly have to recognize that you can’t do it all yourself.

Believe, Kristy

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Kristy Robinett

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