Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Pagan
Between Two Worlds: Anna, Another Lesson From Hekate, and Release

Between Two Worlds: Anna, Another Lesson From Hekate, and Release

Last updated on: July 4, 2022 at 2:41 pm by Brianne Raven Wolf

Between Two Worlds: Anna, Another Lesson From Hekate, and Release 2022-07-04T14:41:48+00:00 Brianne Raven Wolf

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I first blogged about a woman that I called Anna, on May 10, 2019. I learned a lot about myself back then. But not nearly as much as I have learned recently. Again, with help and guidance from Hekate, and of course Anna. You can read about the first lesson here.

Anna and I did stay in touch with each other. Public domain image by BhaktiCreative via Pixabay.

Anna and I did stay in touch with each other, although erratically, over that time. I never did forget her or what I did learn. What I learned back then was nothing like I was about to learn. She not only stayed a friend, but became one of the most important mentors I ever have had in my life. You can read about my other mentors here.

On the Spring Solstice, Ostara, this year Anna again connected with me. Again, based on what I learned from her before, I knew I needed to delve deeper into what it meant for me to be with another woman. And I learned a lot more than what I had expected. A lot more.

As a post-operative transwoman my perception of being with a lesbian was not exactly what reality was, and is. I thought that just because I had already had surgery I would be totally acceptable to any lesbian. One thing that became very clear in our conversations, some pretty heated, was that I was wrong with that perception.

I really had, and have, no idea of what it’s really like to be a natal woman. And the reverse is also quite true. Just because I totally identify and live as a woman doesn’t mean that I, and other transwomen like me, can understand that one simple truth.

As transwomen we can take all of our feminizing hormones, and get surgeries, or not, but we will never, ever, experience what it’s like to be a natal woman. And the reverse is true. Natal women will never, ever experience what it’s like to be male. Including transmen. Again, period.

Years ago, before I had my reassignment surgery, I met another lesbian, Karen, who was to become my first lesbian mentor. Let’s call it Lesbianism 101. We did have a few things in common, mostly our spiritual beliefs. She was a published author, and we connected because of that, as well as our love for the natural world.

We talked a lot about ourselves as we got to know each other. Public domain image by marcisim via Pixabay.

We talked a lot about ourselves as we got to know each other a little better. I thought that was a good lesson, and I am glad we did, as it has helped me ever since. The more we know about what our shared realities are the better.

One thing that was apparent right from the beginning of our talks was that a lesbian doesn’t want to be with any transwoman who hasn’t had reassignment surgery. Period. No matter how many of us transwomen identify as a lesbian, a relationship with a natal woman lesbian is unlikely to happen. That’s the reality part. I agreed with that back then, and I still do.

As Karen and I talked over many times, she told me that in her opinion, I was about 80% female in my attitude, presentation, and demeanor. But…there still was, and I know now, is that other 20%. Male. Even though I know that I have “skin in the game” – well…lack thereof (lol), there is still some male energy and attitude that shows through from time to time. And it can be quite obvious to any woman.

That was true back then, and what I was to realize and learn from Anna this second time around is that it’s totally true now. There will always be the part of me that was born and observed male at birth. Even though I “knew” at age five that I was not a boy, but a girl. I was brought up as a male. With male privileges. Part of that is bred into us, no matter our identity or sexual preferences. Period.

Public domain image by johnhain via Pixabay.

When I first started the medical part of my transition, years ago, there was a lot more respect in our trans community. Towards each other, and to natal women, including of course lesbians. Lately it seems to be changing toward a much more sinister attitude.

With a younger group of transwomen who haven’t had surgery. I’m not putting everyone into that generalized category, but a few transwomen that I’ve seen in disturbing videos. Young trans activists disturbing natal women at peaceful rallies. Tearing up signs, and getting right in the peaceful female protesters’ faces.

Like I said earlier in this article, just because a transwoman identifies as a woman doesn’t mean other people identify a transwoman as a woman. It’s been happening more frequently now than ever. Including lesbian dating sites. I think it’s wrong and shows an obvious lack of respect. Lesbians do not want non-post-operative transwomen to be intimate with. Period.

We as human beings, no matter our gender, gender identity or sexual persuasion, need to have a lot more respect, compassion and love for each other in this crazy world we live in now. And in the times to come. Forever.

I know now, that in order for me to live with and love any woman, lesbians included, I need to have a lot less male energy and attitude towards them. I am fortunate that I have a lot less of that since my surgery, but I do, and will always, have some.

That doesn’t mean I will give up trying to have an intimate relationship, but it probably won’t happen unless I realize what I have learned from Anna, and apply it in the future.

Every night I do my devotional to my Goddess Hekate. She has over 200 epithets, but I have been using only 7 of them consistently. For many years. Lyco – she wolf; Brimo – angry one, bringer of storms; Trimorphos – triple sided, triple Goddess; Kleidoukhos – key holder; Pammetor – mother of all; Lampadios – torch bearer; and last but definitely not least, Erototokos – bearer of dreams and love.

The epithet Erototokos was told to me in a deep sleep state a few nights ago. Public domain image by 95C via Pixabay.

Even though I won’t be with Anna the way I may want to be, Hekate has shown me that I need to learn not only from Her, but from Anna as well. And I think I have, and will continue to do so. I have never dreamed about any singular epithets about Hekate. Until a couple nights ago.

I rarely remember some of my nightly dreams unless they wake me up. The epithet Erototokos was told to me in a deep sleep state a few nights ago. It didn’t wake me up, but I remembered it being said three separate times. I believe it was for me to always remember the three women I’ve never been intimate with. One crossed over when she was 19 years old. I’ll leave it at that.

I know that no matter what happens I will remain friends with Anna. And hopefully get to go hiking with her again! Anna, you’re the best mentor and friend that I, a transwoman like me, could have ever asked for. I sincerely appreciate all of our talks and texts that we had. And may have again. At least that this transwoman hopes for. Many blessings to you, and in the times to come from the bottom of my heart.

Will Hekate bring me those dreams of love? And will it end in a life-long relationship with a lesbian? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. With Hekate’s help, and what I’ve learned from Anna, it just might…somewhere…sometime…in the future!

Transgender Acceptance

About Brianne Raven Wolf

Brianne Ravenwolf has identified as Pagan from a very young age. She is an active member of Circle Sanctuary in Wisconsin. She follows a Hekatean Witchcraft Spiritual path. To relax, she likes to walk, camp and hike as much as possible in very rural areas. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

May 28, 2022

Between Two Worlds: Mika

Next Post

July 20, 2022 Of Light & Shadow: Disconnecting to Reconnect

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Lakeside Hearth Adventures in Wortcunning Alone In Her Presence Arts, Crafts & Cooking Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft Book of Blackbirds Book Reviews Born-Again Witch Cauldron, Sword, Spear, & Stone Cermony and Liturgy Columns Community Dandelion Seeds Dear Jasmine Druid Thoughts Editor's Picks Everyday Pagan Family & Household Practice Family Traditions Full Frontal Magic Gateway Goddess Guest Articles Happily Heathen Health and Wellness Hearth of Hellenism Heathen Woman Hills of the Horizon History Holidays Horse Goddesses Interfaith Interviews Irish-American Witchcraft Jewish Witch Lamp & Labyrinth Letters from Midgard Literature, Media, Film, Music Loop of Brighid Love, Sex & Relationships Magic or Magick Making Light Naturalistic Traditions Nature News Outside The Circle Pantheisticon Politics Prayers, Poems, Blessings & Stories Queer Femme Mystic Queer of Swords Recipes Ritual and Practice Science and Research Seekers and Guides Seeking the Grail Socially Responsible Magic Spear of Athena Star Made Witch Syncretic Electric Technology The Blooming Staff The Busy Witch The Cartomancer The Crow's Nest The Dance of Pagan Recovery The Hearth of Hellenism The Lady's Quill The Other Side of the Hedge The Path of She The Rantin' Raven The Witches Next Door The Zen Pagan Theology, Ethics, Philosophy Tree City Witch Urban Earthwitch Wayfaring Woman Witch on Fire Wyrd Words

Select a Month January 2026 March 2025 December 2024 June 2024 April 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 August 2023 July 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which city did David conquer and make his capital?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Gibeon Bethel Hebron Jerusalem