Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Pagan
Alone In Her Presence: Heart Leads the Way – The Practice of Loving Kindness

Alone In Her Presence: Heart Leads the Way – The Practice of Loving Kindness

Last updated on: February 11, 2015 at 3:42 pm by Erick DuPree

Alone In Her Presence: Heart Leads the Way – The Practice of Loving Kindness 2015-02-11T15:42:14+00:00 Erick DuPree

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I have been reflecting a lot on what it means to love. I confess that as Valentine’s day approaches, I find myself leaning into the place where I think of myself as a failure. Especially when I look back at my failed attempts at romance, I wonder: what sadist came up with a holiday celebrating romance? There is a certain inclination to wallow in self pity, eat chocolate, and listen to the “all alone on a Sunday morning” anthems of love lost. I know I’ve been there; right now is one of those times actually. And, as I watch the end of yet another failed attempt of romance, I wonder why we have this expectation of what it means to love, be loved, and love another?

Image via Erick DuPree

The universe has an odd way of inviting me to question deeper. As I sat down to write today, the tea bag in my cup of tea offered this wisdom, Let your heart speak to other’s hearts. And I thought to myself, what might it look like if Valentine’s Day were re-framed? What if, instead of romantic love and the pursuit of it, we instead focused our hearts on loving the self as an entry point to knowing the heart? What does your heart say to you, and how does it lead the way?

Giving yourself permission to let the heart lead the way doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it is so easy–one of the easiest invitations–and it starts with saying these magic words called a metta sutra.

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

Even if at first you don’t know if you believe them, these words invite the feeling of love that already exists in your life. These words are the dedication of energies to love yourself, heal your pain, and welcome the possibility to live more fully. It’s a simple yet profound practice that will cultivate your heart to speak to other hearts. Loving kindness is the practice of inviting the heart, and it is essential to our health and happiness. Self-love is having the courage to make a deliberate decision to make a special place for yourself in your own heart … just as you are–right this second–flaws, fears, and all.

To cultivate the metta, start with oneself. The Buddha said, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

To begin the metta practice, dig deeply to find your deepest wishes. Take your time to find your own words in your own language to express two or three or four of these deep wishes. From that intention of the heart, recite:

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

Connect to the meaning, repeat the words slowly, and invite a gentle rhythm with your breath. Breath to heart, heart to mind, and mind to body, for at least five to ten minutes. Just start where you are.

Thich Nhat Han says, “Loving oneself is the foundation for loving another person.” Knowing love, and being open to love that is boundless, is hard. In a culture that seeks defined beginnings and concrete endings, being in relationship takes work. Really all we can do is manifest the love that is within, heart to heart. That is where I find the practice, even when I cry in my pillow. When we dedicate the merit of love, first to ourselves, we set in motion the current of a heart that leads the way. The capacity for love is the greatness thing that makes human-kind unique. We have the potential to be virtuous and to live that virtue of love.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I come into the practice of self-love, in the presence all all that is divine.

With that in mind, I invite you to lean into Valentine’s Day with a little more compassion for the self. Loving-kindness is a simple practice and one that can transform the way you experience the heart. As your heart’s capacity for it grows, you’ll find a great fullness of being, discover a warm kinship with all beings, and reveal the radiant heart within. When the heart leads the way, all is love, and love attracts more love.

What happens when you try this meditation? Please share in the comments.

Alone In Her Presence is published on alternate Wednesdays! Subscribe via RSS or e-mail.

Alone In Her Presence

Columns

Interfaith

Prayers, Poems, Blessings & Stories

Theology, Ethics, Philosophy

Previous Post

February 9, 2015

Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft: Woo Woo Scale 2.0, Part 1

Next Post

February 12, 2015 A Pagan Short History of Valentine's Day

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Lakeside Hearth Adventures in Wortcunning Alone In Her Presence Arts, Crafts & Cooking Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft Book of Blackbirds Book Reviews Born-Again Witch Cauldron, Sword, Spear, & Stone Cermony and Liturgy Columns Community Dandelion Seeds Dear Jasmine Druid Thoughts Editor's Picks Everyday Pagan Family & Household Practice Family Traditions Full Frontal Magic Gateway Goddess Guest Articles Happily Heathen Health and Wellness Hearth of Hellenism Heathen Woman Hills of the Horizon History Holidays Horse Goddesses Interfaith Interviews Irish-American Witchcraft Jewish Witch Lamp & Labyrinth Letters from Midgard Literature, Media, Film, Music Loop of Brighid Love, Sex & Relationships Magic or Magick Making Light Naturalistic Traditions Nature News Outside The Circle Pantheisticon Politics Prayers, Poems, Blessings & Stories Queer Femme Mystic Queer of Swords Recipes Ritual and Practice Science and Research Seekers and Guides Seeking the Grail Socially Responsible Magic Spear of Athena Star Made Witch Syncretic Electric Technology The Blooming Staff The Busy Witch The Cartomancer The Crow's Nest The Dance of Pagan Recovery The Hearth of Hellenism The Lady's Quill The Other Side of the Hedge The Path of She The Rantin' Raven The Witches Next Door The Zen Pagan Theology, Ethics, Philosophy Tree City Witch Urban Earthwitch Wayfaring Woman Witch on Fire Wyrd Words

Select a Month January 2026 March 2025 December 2024 June 2024 April 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 August 2023 July 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was visited by an angel to announce his wife would have John the Baptist?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Caiaphas Joseph Simon Zechariah