Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Pagan
Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft: Current Events, Electronics, Tolerance and Your Children

Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft: Current Events, Electronics, Tolerance and Your Children

Last updated on: April 7, 2014 at 12:57 pm by Lydia MN Crabtree

Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft: Current Events, Electronics, Tolerance and Your Children 2014-04-07T12:57:40+00:00 Lydia MN Crabtree

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Returning to our installments on raising tolerant children, I would like to review the points we have covered.

Develop Child(ren) Who Interrogate Reality

I discussed Emotional Intelligence (EI) and suggested that when children ask “Why?”, parents can empower them by asking “Why do you think?”

Be Vocal

Racism, gender bias, religious intolerance, and homophobia persist through silence. We need to challenge the common ways in which our children use language and make sure that consideration is given to what is meant and what is said.

Words Have Power

When we listen to our children, natural opportunities will arise to address gender bias, homophobia, privilege, and inequality.

Praise the Champion & The Law and When to Break It

Tolerance requires warriors of justice who confront the unjust and successfully change lives. This is the ultimate goal of parenting to tolerance.

Now, in this week’s installment…

Exploit the Media that Would Exploit Your Child(ren); Discuss Current Events

In the last installment, I described my son’s run-in with a bully during high school. At the time, I was ranting and raving about the unjust way in which teenagers deal with each other, when a much wiser mother than I said, “And that is why there is no Facebook, Twitter, or Social Media during school!”

Growing up in the proper South raised by Independent Southern Baptist biological parents, I was not allowed to wear make-up, cut my hair, wear pants, or speak unless I was spoken to. The strict rules governing my behavior of were numerous. There was no room for creativity, and I can even remember my biological father lamenting, “Too bad she was born a girl, ‘cause she would make a great preacher or President.”

My gender restricted the life options open to me. I was encouraged to become a nurse or a teacher and marry well. I find that many earth-based practitioners’ co-parents suffered similar issues as they were raised. The restrictions that they found intolerable as children are not things they want to impose upon the children they are raising. As a mother, I have always strived for moderation.

After the aforementioned incident, it struck me suddenly that I had gone out of my way to ensure that my son fit in. He had good clothes and a cell phone and access to all the same electronics as his peers. I didn’t want him to suffer the stigma I did when it was discovered by my middle school peers that my parents wouldn’t let me shave my legs. In doing this, my actions were counter to what I had intended to teach. I chose to make sure my son could blend in when I valued those who did not blend in. I unconsciously suggested to my son that being like everyone else was better than sticking out: “The nail in the board that needed to be hammered into place,” as my biological mother put it.

This enlightenment has come too late for me and not for you. I sincerely believed that all decisions I made were based on the highest good for my child. I never thought to examine what that highest good was. Just because everyone else wore Vans clothing, did it really follow that my boy’s highest good was to be dressed in that manner? Just because other parents spend thousands of dollars on school clothes, did that mean that my son’s highest good was to do the same?

Parents can be overly sensitive when worrying about their children being popular. Since “popular” is really something only a few achieve, most parents are intimately familiar with not being thus exalted. We would save our children that stigma if we can, but in doing so, we perpetuate the lie that “popular” means “good.”

My friend was/is a better mother than I. She recognized that social media creates a direct download into her child, a download that is constant and unfiltered, placed upon a child who may not be mature enough to filter for themselves. So she forbade social media when more important matters, like schooling, were at hand. She restricted texting during the school year as well. I have to say, I can’t imagine doing this to my son. Texting allows my son access to people he would not have access to otherwise, being a child who gets along better with older people. Texting allows for communication that when I was a teenager was done by phone. It is also too late to change our ways. My son is in tenth grade and trying to put that rabbit back in the hat would be impossible.

These issues, however, are things that are worth thinking about. Dr. Gary Small notes, “The downside [to early and extensive technology exposure] is our face-to-face human contact skills… those neural wires are weakening.”[i]

Finding a way as co-parents to balance the positive and uplifting use of technology while continuing to develop the art of human interaction is important.

At Pantheacon, I had a great conversation with a Pagan Dad named Bryant. We discussed how the kitchen table was the most powerful magical tool a Family Coven has access to.

“I think sometimes there is this backlash by earth-based practitioners and liberals when you suggest they observe a meal at a table. It seems like such a right-wing Christian thing to do,” I commented.

“Yeah, but that’s where it all comes together. My day, what my kids did that day, what my partners did that day. If we didn’t meet at the table for dinner, when would all that come out?” Bryant wondered.

I think that Bryant has the right of it. All families, Christian or earth-centric need to make time and space to reconnect. You need to center your family around some structure that is an the end unto itself. You aren’t getting children ready for bed or trying to get everyone off to start the day. You aren’t texting or talking on the phones or electronic devices. You are practicing human interaction. Through that interaction, some of the suggested conversations in this series can take place.

Common sense dictates that you try some simple methods to govern the media’s access to your children.

Electronics can be restricted to weekends only. No texting, no gaming, no television, no computer usage unless it is on the weekends.
Laptops needed for schoolwork can be accessed for one hour per day.
During the week and weekend, electronic access is dependent upon chores being complete, school work being complete, and behavior that is deemed appropriate by the Family Coven Virtues.
Observe the gaming and television ratings. Visual images are powerful, and downloading images of violence and sex into a child’s brain before they are able to properly process that does have detrimental effects.
Do what is best for your Family Coven, remembering hindsight is always 20/20. Do I wish I had imposed stricter rules around electronics with my son? Absolutely. I didn’t, and I have to navigate the waters we find ourselves in. I have made a hard course for us, and I am doing my best. Carefully consider the consequences upon your child and Family Coven today and in the future when you make these decisions. Seek the advice of other Family Covens. Meditate on it. These decisions matter.

I will say that having a child who is interested in current events and is sixteen has changed dramatically what we watch as a family. As a matter of course I record The Daily Show with John Stewart and The Colbert Report. These shows bring current events into our home in a manner that is palatable to a teenager and can spark great conversations. We watch these shows as a family and often press pause so we can discuss what we have seen. The most recent episode we discussed was “Friday Night Rights.”

This piece is about University of Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam’s announcement that he is gay before the National Football League draft. After watching the segment, my son, my husband-priest, and I discussed how his draft standing had fallen after the announcement. We talked about how likely it was that there were many gay NFL players already, and Sam’s announcement was a step toward removing the erroneous portrayal that all gay men hate sports and all lesbians hate lipstick.

In my mind, this is an excellent way to try to confront intolerance around gender bias, homosexuality, racism and more: utilizing a program to spark the conversation with my child. I have found the news is another great way to have these discussions.

Eighteen-year old Keshia Thomas protects a Nazi protester on June 22, 1996. After a building confrontation, the man fell and the crowd descended upon him, attempting physically assault him. Horrified, Thomas, laid upon the man in protection even though she was there as a member of the National Women’s Rights Organizations Coalition (NWROC) and has been in direct protest against the KKK moments earlier. This photograph was captured by Mark Brunner.

A few years back, I distinctly recall a conversation sparked after watching the national news. The story was about a fraternity where a girl alleged she was passed from fraternity brother to fraternity brother and raped during a party. This led to a discussion with our son about what was more important, oaths taken to a group or justice and the defense of the defenseless. This discussion was graphic and hard to have. It led me to tell my son that if he was witness to such an atrocity and he didn’t take action, I would love him but be beyond disappointed.

These are important conversations to have about tolerance. Tolerating poor behavior because you like someone or are invested in a relationship with them should never be encouraged. In order to know what you should and should not tolerate, you must have a clear understanding of what your own values and virtues are. Discussion of current events allows co-parents to explore with their children what those virtues and values will be for them. Tolerance of intolerable actions is criminal and destructive to the spirit, soul, and mind of society.

[i] Myers, Kim. “Technology Can Impact Brain Development in Good, Bad Ways.” 9news.com. KUSA-TV, 2013. Web. 19 Feb. 2014.

Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft is published on alternate Mondays. Subscribe via RSS or e-mail!

Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft

Columns

Family & Household Practice

Previous Post

March 7, 2014

Heathen Woman: The Sacrifice

Next Post

March 11, 2014 The Dance of Pagan Recovery: Pain and Faith in a Wiccan World, by Crystal Blanton (Review)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Lakeside Hearth Adventures in Wortcunning Alone In Her Presence Arts, Crafts & Cooking Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft Book of Blackbirds Book Reviews Born-Again Witch Cauldron, Sword, Spear, & Stone Cermony and Liturgy Columns Community Dandelion Seeds Dear Jasmine Druid Thoughts Editor's Picks Everyday Pagan Family & Household Practice Family Traditions Full Frontal Magic Gateway Goddess Guest Articles Happily Heathen Health and Wellness Hearth of Hellenism Heathen Woman Hills of the Horizon History Holidays Horse Goddesses Interfaith Interviews Irish-American Witchcraft Jewish Witch Lamp & Labyrinth Letters from Midgard Literature, Media, Film, Music Loop of Brighid Love, Sex & Relationships Magic or Magick Making Light Naturalistic Traditions Nature News Outside The Circle Pantheisticon Politics Prayers, Poems, Blessings & Stories Queer Femme Mystic Queer of Swords Recipes Ritual and Practice Science and Research Seekers and Guides Seeking the Grail Socially Responsible Magic Spear of Athena Star Made Witch Syncretic Electric Technology The Blooming Staff The Busy Witch The Cartomancer The Crow's Nest The Dance of Pagan Recovery The Hearth of Hellenism The Lady's Quill The Other Side of the Hedge The Path of She The Rantin' Raven The Witches Next Door The Zen Pagan Theology, Ethics, Philosophy Tree City Witch Urban Earthwitch Wayfaring Woman Witch on Fire Wyrd Words

Select a Month January 2026 March 2025 December 2024 June 2024 April 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 August 2023 July 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Jehovah Rapha" mean?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Lord Provides The Lord is Holy The Lord Heals The Lord Saves