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Select a Month January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015

January 2016

January 15, 2016

Diocese Creates GoFundMe Page After Spending Funds On Powerball Tickets

(AoftheANews) WALLA WALLA - AoftheA News has learned that the Diocese of Walla Walla (Washington state) spent...

January 13, 2016

BREAKING: Vatican Approves Move Of St Louis Archdiocese To Los Angeles

(AoftheANews) After months of intense negotiations and several close votes, the Vatican approved the relocation of...

December 2015

December 23, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Church Designates “Peanut-Free Pews” For Kids Who Snack At Mass

(AoftheANews) SAN JOSE - Beginning next Sunday at St Hazel's, parishioners whose children suffer from...

December 02, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Music Director Rewrites ’12 Days Of Christmas’ To Observe COP21

(AoftheANews) NASHVILLE - For Ed Vokett, music director at Our Lady of Good Intentions, Advent...

November 2015

November 25, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Pastor “Shocked” To See Front Pews Filled At Mass

(AoftheANews) QUAD CITIES - Fr Phil Irrupp, pastor of St. Curds and Whey, couldn't believe...

November 11, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Church Purchases Drones For EMHC Delivery To Shut-ins

(AoftheANews) KANSAS CITY - Catholic shut-ins living in the northwestern area of Kansas City will soon be...

November 04, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Pastor Publishes ‘Trigger Warnings’ Prior To Mass

(AoftheANews) EAST LANSING - Starting this Sunday, parishioners and visitors at Sts. Amber & Pilsner will be receiving...

November 02, 2015

The 6-Letter Word That Cuts Down Men Every Day

Last week, Huffington Post ran a piece called "The 3-Letter Word That Cuts Down Women Every...

October 2015

October 21, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Church Installs “Judge-Free Room” For Non-Communicants

(AoftheANews) ALBUQUERQUE - Believed to be the only of its kind in any Catholic church anywhere in the...

October 16, 2015

Faithful Bishops Ask Catholic Bloggers To Abandon Panic-Mongering

(AoftheANews) ROME - A report has been leaked from the Synod on the Family currently...

September 2015

September 30, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Parish Hires Football Coach To Be On-field Liturgical Coordinator

(AoftheANews) BATON ROUGE - Starting next Sunday, parishioners at St Suburban's will notice an addition to...

September 24, 2015

Funny Vid By Lutheran Satire: “I’m A Christian, But I’m Totally Not…”

Earlier this month, Buzzfeed produced a lame video (do they ever produce any non-lame video?)...

September 16, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Man Receives Light Penance, Seeks Second Opinion

(AoftheANews) CHEBOYGAN - Stuart Merkelson, a parishioner at Saints Abbot and Costello in Cheboygan, WI, exited...

September 09, 2015

PARISH REPORT: Engaged Couple Enthusiastic About New Annulment Rules

(AoftheANews) TAMPA BAY - For engaged couple Marty Loomis and Paula Cargensteim, the motu proprio issued...

September 08, 2015

Quotes From The Crazy Right Wing Catholic Bible, No. 1

You can't be Christian and a xenophobe. I'm seeing on Twitter where some people -...

August 2015

August 30, 2015

World Meeting Of Families Scandal Explodes!!!!11!!1!!1!1

(AoftheANews) PHILADELPHIA - The World Meeting of Families,occurring at the end of September in Philadelphia,...

August 05, 2015

Taking Measures To Make My Blog A Safer Place

Following is an important Special Announcement released by the AoftheA Health & Safety Department. Please read it...

July 2015

July 29, 2015

Catholic Psychotherapists Identify Baffling New Condition Among Internet Users

(AoftheANews) GREELEY, CO - The Catholic Psychotherapy Association released a report today on a condition they claim is...

July 07, 2015

Report: Vatican Creates Orders For Perpetually Outraged Catholics

(AoftheANews) VATICAN CITY - The Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life...

July 06, 2015

These Might Be The Best Catholic Satire Posts Ever!

I love me some satire and parody. And it looks like Creative Minority Report is returning...

June 2015

June 23, 2015

Jesus Causes Climate Change!!

Don't miss anything from Acts of the Apostasy - like my Facebook page!

June 12, 2015

Pope Francis: “Rename The Statue Of Liberty The ‘Statue Of Mercy'”

(AoftheANews) AoftheANews has learned that Pope Francis, in advance of his upcoming US visit, and as...

June 02, 2015

Quotes From The Progressive Catholic Bible, No. 1

What the Catholic Bible says: What the Progressive Catholic Bible says:

June 01, 2015

St. Patrick Resigns As Patron Saint Of Ireland

(AoftheANews) AoftheANews has learned that St. Patrick has officially resigned as patron saint of Ireland,...

May 2015

May 27, 2015

New Details Emerge From Super Secret Synod Planning Session

(AoftheANews) AoftheA News has been given additional details from the secret synod planning session held Monday at...

May 01, 2015

Pope Francis’ Environmental Encyclical Rumored to Ex-communicate Climate Change Deniers

(AoftheANews) A source within the Vatican has leaked to AoftheA News that Pope Francis' upcoming encyclical...

April 2015

April 17, 2015

San Fran Prominent Catholics Issue Open Letter to God to Remove Pope Francis

(AoftheANews) Dissatisfied with Pope Francis' inaction on their full page ad in the Thursday April...

April 14, 2015

USCCB Docs Reveal How Mass Dismissal was Nearly “The Mass is ended, have a nice day!”

(AoftheANews) Confidential documents given to AoftheA News show that the USCCB - back when it...

March 2015

March 31, 2015

REPORT: Pope’s Offer to Wash Feet of Traditionalist Group Blog Refused

(AoftheA News) AoftheA News has learned that Pope Francis had offered to wash the feet...

March 03, 2015

NEWS ITEM: Police Quell Riot Over ’40 Days of Lent’ Calculation Dispute

(AoftheANews) Police were called to Our Lady of Just Desserts in Dundee, MI on Sunday...