The shortest verse in a Democrat’s bible: “Bill slept”

Last updated on: September 19, 2017 at 10:21 am by Marla Clendenin

The shortest verse in a Democrat’s bible: “Bill slept” 2017-09-19T10:21:18-05:00 Marla Clendenin

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Did anybody else notice how sleepy Bill Clinton was during his wife’s speech at the Democratic National Convention last week?

You know, the biggest moment of Hillary Clinton’s political life — the one in which she accepted the party’s nomination, thus becoming the first woman of a major political party to ever be nominated for president? Yeah, that one!

Apparently for Bill, who’s seen and done it all (literally), that wasn’t all that exciting. I mean, heck, he was president for eight years and had a personal, live-in Oval Office “assistant,” who would do anything he suggested. Hey, Monica!

But seriously, that was prime nap time for the former president and thankfully, ABC News cameras captured it all:

Did you catch that? Forget for a second that Bill was fast approaching R.E.M. and pay closer attention to Hillary’s VP-pick, Tim Kaine. His face said it all — that look of utter disgust, that there he was, sitting next to the sleepiest guy at the convention during the most exciting, if not important, part of the evening. I think Kaine even tried choking himself for a brief second, before deciding he’d rather just lean forward and block the embarrassment from the view of the national media.

Other angles took this situation from, “Hey, look how funny it is that Bill is catching some Zs as his wife talks,” to, “Holy crap, what’s wrong with Bill?”

Was that a cotton mouth impression? He is from Arkansas AND his nickname used to be Bubba, so he’s obviously wrangled some water moccasins in his time, right? I mean, he was probably like one of those Indian snake-charmers, except Bill probably sat around in his boxer shorts and McDonald’s-stained wife beater playing his saxophone at the edge of a creek. Hey! Maybe that’s what he was picturing when he was “resting his eyes.”

But that’s not even the worst of it. Here’s Bill doing his best Weekend at Bernie’s impression:

Seriously, did he died for like a second?

That night, Bill also proved that he can transcend the space/time continuum with his ability to slo-motion clap while everyone else claps in real time, something he probably learned after his 200th viewing of Back to the Future. It happens at the 1:08 mark:

We’ve already asked, “What is wrong with Bill?” but after that clip you’re probably asking, “What is wrong with Hillary?” Maybe all those throat clearings were an attempt to get our attention so we would see her winking and making air-quotes to clue us in that this has all been some sick prank and she’s not really running for president? Wishful thinking, I know.

But in the end, Bill not only made a full recovery but also proved the science behind the power nap. By the time he got on stage, he looked happier than a White House intern. (Hey, Monica!)

And here’s your @billclinton playing with the balloons at the #DemConvention like a 5 year-old GIF: pic.twitter.com/qolmjs1oaA

— Frank Thorp V (@frankthorp) July 29, 2016

Of course, Bill had no clue why everyone was celebrating, but who cares. Balloons!

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