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Access Politics

The most uncomfortable thing you’ll ever see Hillary Clinton do

Last updated on: September 19, 2017 at 10:21 am   by Marla Clendenin

The most uncomfortable thing you’ll ever see Hillary Clinton do 2017-09-19T10:21:19-05:00 Marla Clendenin

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No, it’s not cocaine. (Those are just rumors!) It’s a spoof of Forrest Gump, starring the former first lady and Bubba himself.

The sketch first played in 1995 at a Gridiron Dinner; an annual journo event that’s supposed to elicit laughs. Unfortunately, the only reaction this scene demanded was a trip to the bathroom. Hillary’s acting is worse than Donald Trump (barely) disguising his voice to journalists on the phone and pretending to be his own publicist.

Hillary tries to disguise her voice, too. She does it all the time depending on her audience. This time, she digs up her (kind of) southern accent and calls herself Hillary Rodham Gump. She sits on a park bench in front of the White House and cops a line from the movie:

“My momma always told me, ‘The White House is like a box of chocolates. It’s pretty on the outside, but inside there’s lots of nuts.'”

Especially the ones that were regularly sitting out on the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office! Right, Monica?

Anyhoo…

Hillary’s jokes came off about as well as her multiple wig changes. Though a joke about that did reveal how she approaches politics:

“Momma always told me, ‘Hillary, Hillary Gump, life is like a hairstyle. You just keep changing it ’til you find something that works.'”

Like they say, there’s always some truth behind every joke.

Then the real Bubba Gump, Billy boy — the president — jumped into the scene and grabbed the box of chocolates, treating it like he treats his marriage: setting one aside (Hillary) and gobbling up the rest for himself!

The scene ends with Bill looking at his wife the same way Carl from Slingblade would stare at a biscuit slathered in mustard, as Hillary says:

“Cupid is as Cupid does.”

Some things you can’t unsee and this is one of them:

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